Broken Warrior

by Em 2 months ago in slam poetry

Nearly 3 Years Later & I Still Feel Broken

Broken Warrior

You took so much from me

You took my happiness

You took my virginity (without asking)

You took my logic

When we started dating I let you and your friends transform me into who they thought i should be

I stopped seeing my value

I started to feel like an object

The longer I stayed the more I tried to convince myself it was fine

I went away to college while you were at camp

But when you came back you changed

You didn't care about what I had to say

You didn't care about my feelings

You wanted what you wanted and refused to acknowledge my needs

You wanted your cake and you wanted to eat it too

But then you left me and it made me realize if you can leave me just like that then I could walk away too

But I was afraid, so I went back

But I didn't feel the love I once did

So I tried to leave

But you refused to let me

So I kept pushing until you had no option but to call it quits

And even thought it's nearly three years later, I still think about all the damage

I still feel broken from time to time

I still hear your voice in my head

Telling me I'm cancerous

Telling me I'm not enough

Telling me you'd fuck other girls

Telling me that I couldn't do anything right

Then I remember you calling me a slut with your friends

I remember you trying to manipulate me, telling me you wanted to die without me

Then you came back months later trying to apologize and I was done

If love was a game of seeing how bad you can fuck someone up, you'd win

I can't see myself the way way

I cover up most nights because I can't believe I have so much chub...

Because all you did was call me jello

I can't trust guys because I think they'll abuse me the way you did - emotionally, mentally... and more...

I can't believe a guy likes me for me because you just wanted my body

And to this day I still blame myself for being raped by those guys and by you

Because apparently I must have wanted it

So fuck you for tormenting me

Fuck you for all the abuse you put me through

Because every time I feel like I'm healing I get dragged back in

Some nights my body does not feel like my own

Some nights I still cry from everything I endured

I just hope one day I'll be happy and I'll be able to call myself a true warrior

slam poetry
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I'm doing my best.

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