You took so much from me
You took my happiness
You took my virginity (without asking)
You took my logic
When we started dating I let you and your friends transform me into who they thought i should be
I stopped seeing my value
I started to feel like an object
The longer I stayed the more I tried to convince myself it was fine
I went away to college while you were at camp
But when you came back you changed
You didn't care about what I had to say
You didn't care about my feelings
You wanted what you wanted and refused to acknowledge my needs
You wanted your cake and you wanted to eat it too
But then you left me and it made me realize if you can leave me just like that then I could walk away too
But I was afraid, so I went back
But I didn't feel the love I once did
So I tried to leave
But you refused to let me
So I kept pushing until you had no option but to call it quits
And even thought it's nearly three years later, I still think about all the damage
I still feel broken from time to time
I still hear your voice in my head
Telling me I'm cancerous
Telling me I'm not enough
Telling me you'd fuck other girls
Telling me that I couldn't do anything right
Then I remember you calling me a slut with your friends
I remember you trying to manipulate me, telling me you wanted to die without me
Then you came back months later trying to apologize and I was done
If love was a game of seeing how bad you can fuck someone up, you'd win
I can't see myself the way way
I cover up most nights because I can't believe I have so much chub...
Because all you did was call me jello
I can't trust guys because I think they'll abuse me the way you did - emotionally, mentally... and more...
I can't believe a guy likes me for me because you just wanted my body
And to this day I still blame myself for being raped by those guys and by you
Because apparently I must have wanted it
So fuck you for tormenting me
Fuck you for all the abuse you put me through
Because every time I feel like I'm healing I get dragged back in
Some nights my body does not feel like my own
Some nights I still cry from everything I endured
I just hope one day I'll be happy and I'll be able to call myself a true warrior
About the Creator
Em
I'm doing my best.
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