Broken in a Mirror

Where were you when I was imploding from the inside of all my broken pieces?

When I was hurting and bleeding.

Trying to keep breathing

With his hands around my neck

I was gasping for air

The back of my head hitting the floor as he was on top of me

Tears of sorrow streaming.

Deep inside my soul is screaming

In those moments my life was fleeting.

He was my killer and my savior

He took my life and returned it pleading.

"Forgive me" he kept repeating

As I lay there

In the dark

The angel of death gave my life new meaning

Again and again

Over and over

The same old story I kept reliving

I was alone and so forgiving

Where were you when you could have been the someone I was needing?

No one was ever there

I didn't have anyone

And I was afraid to stay

But more afraid to leave

He was my everything which sickened me

For he made sure I had nothing

Locking me up in the bedroom

Tying my hands and feet

Leaving me to sit there in silence

In fear

Being forever reminded

With the sting of his hand across my face

With the harsh words that cut me down

I was worthless and insignificant

My mentality was in despair

That was the abuse most damaging

Then one day he left me

Left me stranded and discarded

Saying that I was an unworthy piece of garbage

Saying I deserved this and he didn't care and never loved me

That is when I found my strength

Found out what it takes to be brave

To stand up when broken down

To rise above the anger and hate

It took him to leave me for me to leave him

But that was when I came to the conclusion that no matter what going forward

No man would ever hurt me again

I will never sacrifice myself for anyone

Especially not another him

After all, was said and done

I found myself staring at the reflection of a damaged woman

Where were you when I needed you?

"I was always here," said the mirrored me

"Waiting."

"For you to wake up and open your eyes and see your worth"

"And truly live your life"

I can now finally reply

I am awake and I can see

How far I have come

And the pain I had endured will always be a part of me

But now I can look in the mirror and I see me

The me that was all I ever needed to finally set myself free

~ Tia Dalu Souhrada