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Breathe Deep

Taking a step into the dark unkown

By Ember GrayPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
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Breathe deep.

I know I just need to take this one step at a time. One small step to start. Sounds easy enough.

Breathe deep.

Below me is darkness, an utterly black unknown. Why would I want to step into this void?

I lift my foot, inhale, and slowly press forward. It's a step. I exhale the shock and try not to lose my balance. This is a staircase? There's no railing. What is supposed to support me? What if I trip and fall? How far down does this emptiness go?

And why do I feel like I need to go down there? I can't see anything. I have no idea what could be waiting at the bottom. I have no clue how to get down there safely.

Breathe deep.

Another steady step.

I feel my foot fall on the next wooden plank. Maybe this isn't so scary. Maybe I can do this. It's just walking down some stairs, how hard could it be? I've done it a million times. Besides, I need to know what's at the bottom, lurking in the darkness.

What if it's just more darkness? What if someone is waiting to hurt me? What if there is no bottom, and I forever descend into my own madness?

I take a few more quick steps. I exhale. This is okay. I can do this. If anything gets tough I can lean on the wall for support.

I breathe deep.

Why am I doing this alone? Is there no one out there who could possibly help me? Who wants to know what's in the void as bad as I do? Maybe there is no one. Maybe I'm meant to journey alone. It's not so bad I guess, I've been doing it a while. If it's up to me, I'll do it.

Another step down. The step creaks ever so slightly, just loud enough for me to notice. Is this safe? Again, I don't know what could be down there. I don't know what could even be on these stairs. I could very well be setting myself up for failure. I know it's dark. I know it's dangerous. I know it's unkown.

Why do I keep walking?

This could end so badly, why am I still going? I want there to be something there. A light, a comfy chair, a box of old forgotten memories. Maybe a doorway to new ones.

Breathe deep.

Another few steps. I could turn back. I know I haven't made it too far, and even without a railing to grasp I can find my way back up. I know what's up there, it's bright and safe. It's familiar. I should just turn around.

Another step down. I just have to know what's down there. It could be everything I've ever wanted. It could be the beginning of so much. I take a few more steps keeping my hand on the wall. The wall is smooth, if I did trip I don't think I could catch myself. If I fall, it's to the bottom of the blackness.

Breathe deep.

I pause for a moment, considering going back. I don't know what's down there, maybe it's not even worth it. I could be stressing myself out for nothing.

I take another step. No. I need to know. I need to see what's there. I know what I left behind, this is new. This is worth the risk, right? Right?

Breathe deep.

Another few steps. Is that a buzzing sound? Do I see the faintest hint of light? Is it all in my head from standing in the dark for so long? Is it even real?

Breathe deep.

surreal poetry
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About the Creator

Ember Gray

Just a twentysomething Midwest girl with a story to tell.

Find me on Twitter at @embergray

Book featuring a collection of these poems and short stories coming out in August!

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