Blue Water

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

Science in a bottle, art the universe around. Stagnation kills the whale.

Fear kills the octopus. And both cannot eat each other.

What did they say when we were little children?

That the devil will come.

And the devil came. And he left again. Actually, it's a woman. I saw with my own eyes. Blood streamed out of them.

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

Books were old once. Now they are new. Can you see? What would you have to loose?

My skin is white, I felt ashamed.

Now I know they came from another world. Your eyes are brown, mine are green.

The cat’s are book-light-blue.

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

Let me scream, children. Let us scream.

What do they tell you now? That an angel will come.

I hope they are right. We built the way for you.

You are protected. By time and our courage that came from all we’ve seen. I smell like a saint. Hence I am one you say?

We will bring you salvation.

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

Blur awareness. Too much patterns.

I tell you, no one will come.

Alone is what we are. Darkness evolving around us to understand its beauty. In exploring, where is the point? The universe never stops.

Why should we?

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

I lost my coins. Gave them to hyenas.

Cost me part of my mind. How could they just take it. Fear is, to know, no one can carry you.

Fear is, to know the truth about solitude.

Fear is, to know, too much knowledge makes you old. That, an old witch told me once.

It was supposed to be a secret. But the witch disappeared. & who wants to know that now ?

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

Diving. Diving is to be underneath. Drowning to be numb.

Will you ever be who you are? But what is that.

Page after page. Rage emerging from joy. Formulas explaining magic. Magic. Magic of not being but existing. Or vice versa?

Im in pain, due to your lack of color. Or my own ?

I never gave them a rainbow. Who took it?

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

We should climb a mountain. Sit on the floor of a cold lake. Stop talking. I need to see. I cant see.

There will be fire. There is, I mean.

There will be water.

There will be earth and there will be wind.

Master your essence, children. No one will come.

Flowers in a vase, blue water.

A heart can only take so much pressure. Only so much heat. Only so much pain. My spine revolting. As if someone sat inside laughing,

refusing to let me, let go.

I will let go. Im letting go.

And everything that doesnt allow that,

Lets destroy and uncreate it.

Flowers in a vase. Blue water.

*** authors note ***

I wrote this poem in June2020 during lockdown times, in the middle of preparing for hard mathematical (online)exams and a planned (online)exhibition for some of my sculptures; On this day I was so intensly sad that i just had to go out and buy flowers from whoever had an open flower store. Due to all the funerals at the time, all of them were open and I bought a huge bouquet of flowers just for myself. And then i wrote this. And then could move on with my life..