blue wall

the outer wall of my present house is blue

same as the outer wall of my family home

although I wouldn’t call it family

only an anguish environment

where I grew up

like all of us, I had no choice

as now, by choice

living in these walls

where all the torments returned at once

uninvited, uninitiated, not tempted, distorted

but I believe the worst

is already behind me

this dicey veil of their shame

projected on to me

like everything that shows up for the first time

with the power of lightning

and then refuses to let go

until we are finally prepared

to fight this despair

thrown at us by surprise

or rather, step by step

in our lifetime

and these tiny bits of stones

have built this blue wall

over the years

in our head

finally becoming

a room with a sea view –

free space for free thoughts

not stifled by any bad word

hatched in the former primeval blue walls

*

November 2022

***

Thank you for reading!