Bloody Words

His body was his masterpiece,

His fluffy dark hair perfectly combed

Covering his black stained eyes, the definition of mysterious

His lips lined with beautiful silence

But snakebit as his piercings reflect

He conceals himself with long sleeves and thick buckled bracelets,

His nails bruised, black and blue

He keeps his hands in fists as much as he can

To hide the evidence within

At school, the kids play hangman

Although he hates the game, he plays it

And all it took was one wrong word before someone got hurt,

A word taken the wrong way

Causing him to lose control

There's only one way to numb the pain

He scurries home between classes

He locks himself in his room

Grabbing the pen and paper

He writes what he thought he should say,

A tear stained note

His words are raw and bloody,

I am paralyzed from the head down

But the blessing of not having to feel the pain in the words is worth it

I learned how to keep it all inside,

No longer a burden to you

Depression is the only state that my mind works in

It controls me as I feel the edged kiss on wrist

Tears stinging behind my eyelids

There, I relieved the pressure

A fiery stream rolling off my cheeks

Aroused from the depth of emotion I cut into,

Confused? I'll explain...

This is what comfort feels like to me,

I know it's odd to most,

Trust me I wish to be normal too...

I wish there was another way,

The last time was supposed to be the last time,

But what else is new,

Just another lie I tell myself too

The blood is my paint,

The razor is my brush

And my body is the canvas

Thus, my corpse will become the masterpiece

All I have ever known is that I am alone

And the kids at school were right about one thing,

I do not belong here, but

Maybe...maybe somewhere...

This time will be the last time…

It’s time to let everything go

All I want is to finally heal from these lies

It’s time to find my home

My crush, my love

Has always been there between me and this blade

And it beckons to give me another kiss,

Why deny the bliss?

Reluctancy...like a lullaby

Lulling me to give myself to them fully,

Like a craze, metallic I begin to taste,

I bring my knees to my chest as I begin to cry

Unsure if I'm happy or scared,

Unsheathing the blade,

I run it up my vein

If this is another mistake,

I'm sorry!

Shock silencing the school grounds of those who found out,

It was like a massive quake, their jaws agape

As the news story unraveled before them

Guilt hangs over the heads of the kids who convinced him,

They swore to never play hangman again, screaming

“We never meant it!”

Death, suicide… is permanent

If you never meant it,

Why say it?

Taste your words before you spit them.