Black Girl Magic

What does it mean to have Black Girl Magic

Is it the ability of having and portraying creativity

Is it being able to hold that gravity defying crown upon your head

Or is it walking with confidence even when the world tries to tear you down

Yes when your own brothers attempt to tear you down

So You’re drowning

Drowning in a pool of judgement

Between what’s “ghetto” and what’s “classy”

Meanwhile Becky is able to pick and choose whatever she fancies

While I get called out for wearing my fro all big and “nappy”

May it be that she lays her “edges”, gets her hair done with those braids that deemed us black girls as ratchet.

You see when I was younger I found little to no beauty in myself

I felt guilty about my inability to melt and fit the mold of the world’s standard of what was “pretty”

Waking up in a pool of tears remembering all those years that I was terrorized for being myself

The trauma stinging me like the stem of poison ivy seeping it’s way into every inch of my body until I’m paralyzed

You see sometimes I wonder why exactly I’m still here, feeling as though I have no control over my own destiny

Being put into a box of stereotypical “ghetto” behavior

Even though the word ghetto is not an actual human classification

You see that word was only used to further undermine my blackness

So I gotta “talk white” to make everybody see past my blackness

No Its not easy having to assimilate with a people that have a history of hate

back where I’m from folks didn’t care about my feelings

That’s why till this day I’m still seeking healing

But how do I heal in a country that refuses to accept its wrongs

I’m tired of waking up feeling absolutely restless

You see I’m tired of being tired

Why do I have to put so much effort into making others comfortable

When I have barely found comfort within myself

Within my own skin

By this time, I know at least half, if not all of you are offended

And yes by “you” I mean the Caucasians in the room

Because every time I decide to speak my own truth

I’m being told that I’m “pulling the race card” but the truth is that you’ll never know how it feels to live in fear and constant judgement until you’ve stepped a day in my shoes

So what does it mean to have black girl magic?

Does it mean to rise up out of the ashes and stay strong?

Or does it mean to define my own future and prove the rest of the world wrong?