Black cats like mice!

Oh holy catastrophe black cat!

MEOW, meow, MEOW!

My, you sure are a fine specimen of a cat!

How dastardly, maniacally, absolute in magnificence and beauty you are

Your evil, diabolical stare turns my blood to dark burning embers of coal

So captivated by you am I,

I stand petrified, like that rock, unable to scurry away to dark places to hide

Your impressive whiskers seem like sharp swords waiting, threatening

Biding it's time for descending upon my tiny person in silent pleasure

They are cute, those kingly whiskers, though without them you would be

Helpless, inadequate in your ever masterful important cat-ly functions

You see, I know that at the end of those whiskers are organs that work as

Sensors, sending tactile signals to your brain, thus enabling your nervous

System to properly function. They are your Proprioceptor, helping you to

orientate and control every part of your body in space, and even help you

To measure distance between a cat and an object, ME, for example

Your whiskers are highly sensitive and feel every small change in the

Environment, you can even feel the slightest vibration in the air

By the way, I know that those organs, your whiskers, allows you to

'Touch'objects around you, and identify their shape and quality

I cannot help but wonder what my quality feels like to you

You love to dine on me, so I imagine that you quite appreciate

All my fine qualities, shape and rather exquisitely delicious taste

Is it true that when you purr, it lowers the blood pressure, cause truly

My blood pressure is sorely in need of lowering right now

So purr, you lovely feline, purr so I can gain the strength to run away

They say you make excellent pets and are independent, easy to care for

They say that male cats are more affectionate than their female kinds

Which are you, oh your mighty fabulousness, sitting there with those eyes

Bewitching, witchlike, slitted dragon-like, mesmerizing and hypnotic eyes

I finish my letter, place it in an envelope, while calculating the distance

Between the rather handsome feline and myself, four feet from cat

Two feet from hole, so fifty-fifty chance of life or death for me

Fifty-fifty chance of dinner for my impossibly gorgeous nemesis

Cat leaps, I throw his letter at him and dash towards my sanctuary

My haven of life, fleeing from certain death from the feline jaws

Cat lunges, with just a tiny moment to spare, I am in the sanctuary

Ha cat! Not today.

Read your letter, have a nice day!

Signed,

Mouse.

I live to fight another day.