Because you had a stroke, I can no longer breathe

There is sadness

it has set inside my bones,

resting there

making them ache with a sorrow

who’s phantom I have felt

too many times in my life.

To feel the sore uneasiness

nostalgic like growth pains

yet instead of gaining, caused by loss.

Forearms, jaw,

fingers, knees

all clenched in shuddering pain

world weary weakness,

hairline fractures, like compound breaks,

grief doesn’t touch the body

but it’s a cold plunge into a frozen lake,

legs broken on impact

heart shivering, cowering,

unsure of what reason it has to continue pumping,

lungs filled with tears instead of air.

Where is that piece of me

that made me able to stand and walk,

that allowed me forward momentum?

Where has the puppet master gone?

Why were my strings cut,

leaving me crumpled to the ground,

lifeless?