Because I Let Go

I noticed I repeat things,

Because I’ve been ignored.

I noticed I try to prove myself,

Coming off as defensive,

Because I was a complete liar half my life.

But now that I’ve changed,

I haven’t noticed these chains,

That was still in the past,

Still affecting me now.

I am honest now, but I may try too hard,

To gain the respect for others.

Is it because I’ve started to take notice of others’ perceptions of me?

Or is it because

I was never in control of my life,

Because I let the fear get to me,

In every situation of my life?

In terms of jobs,

In terms of people,

Because I was too weird,

Because I was too shy,

Because I didn’t like to talk too much,

And that was a problem,

Because I didn’t know what to say?

It was a problem,

Because I didn’t try.

It was a problem because I kept myself bottled up,

That I didn’t learn how to be upfront with people

And honest with myself.

I didn’t even know who I was,

What I was meant to do,

Until I have finally opened up now.

At times, I still do have my moments,

At times, there are my worst.

But I won’t let those moments get to me,

Because I am still trying,

And I am still moving on.

I am strong,

Because I have carried on

And because I let go.