Beauty In My Hair

I remember the young shy girl I used to be

A shy chubby brown skin girl with low self-esteem

Searching for the attention of boys to validate her beauty

But they didn’t see her

She was background noise in human form

She smiled and laughed but inside there was no love

Tomboyish with chemically altered hair pulled back into too tight pony-tails

Or covered by colorful bandanas tied tight in the back

Rocked with a baggy t-shirt to match to cover up the excess of fat

It was the only look that made her feel cute

Then in young adulthood discovered a new look

Box braids had her wincing in pain but not in vain

As African women in Harlem tugged and pulled at her head

Mixing auburn, red, purple, blonde synthetic hair

With her kinda dark brown kinda jet-black hair

Twisting them in a pattern to create rows of neat braids

Down past her shoulder blades

She’d have a headache for a day or two

But who cares

About the time, money, and pain it took

This was for beauty

So young adult males would give her a look

It was the new look that made her feel pretty

As she creeped into adulthood

The stress of life was getting to her

Showing itself in the strands of her hair

Her once dark brown jet-black hair

Now sprinkled with gray white strands

Not one or two but too many all around

Made their debut before she was even thirty

Those white strands took a front row seat

Allowing the world to see

Pluck, pluck, tweeze, tweeze

But those white gray hairs grew back in

Pluck, Pluck, tweeze, tweeze

This was a battle she couldn’t win

Eventually it wouldn’t matter

Soon I wouldn’t care

Tragedy struck

And it was bigger than the color of my hair

I was losing someone so dear to my heart

At her bedside while she was sleep

Numbed my broken heart

Learning a new language

The language of natural hair care

Spoken by beautiful melinated women in all shades

Fluently showing off beautiful kinks coils and curls

And yet my hair was undefined, dry, a mess

Things were out of my control

So I got bold

Took hold of a pair of sheers

Snip snip there and snip snip here

A moment of hurt and desperation

Nearly two years in the past

Learning the language of self-care

Living in the journey of self-love

Laughing, dancing, smiling

White hair, Don’t care

Dark brown jet-black sprinkled with gray

In box braids or a Fro

It doesn’t matter She’s Beautiful

She is the multi-colored collection of strands

Coming together in a unique blend of curly, coily, kinky

Not always easy to tend to but a blessing to have

The uniqueness of She

An abundance of versatility

Every look is beautiful to me