Battlefield of the Mind

When I went in for help, I never knew my journey would be such a battle.

Who knew that my manic, paranoid mind would be such a hassle.

I thought I was losing my mind and the pieces of the puzzle were scattered

Debating whether I should get help was no thought

I had no clue but with my rolling mind, I was bought.

I knew I had to get help because my actions were a big mess.

I could settle for more hallucinations, and settle for less.

Or I could settle for getting my mind right and being big and bold.

I can live to be better and live to grow old.

My actions were telling a story that is a big, old mess.

I was weighing the problems deep in my chest.

I cut myself and abused myself like I was beaten and battered.

My life was out of control and I was shattered.

My mind took me to the darkest places like I was in another land.

It wasn't pretty and there were no beaches and sand.

It was like a dark forest with eyes all around me.

The howl of the owl is all I could hear and it was the birds in the tree.

It felt scary to be in a place where I had no control.

It was dark, cryptic, and every day I felt I was losing my soul.

I would feel like there was something ghostly creeping around.

I was lost in this wilderness and my thoughts were nowhere to be found.

I had no clue what was happening, but I knew I was losing my mind.

I had to get help. My mind I needed to find.

This could be the worse thing in life, or it could save me.

A battlefield of the mind is happening and it scares me.

Some days are good, but the other days taunt me.

Thoughts take me captive and now they try and haunt me.

I need to get the tools that will help me and save me.

My brain is locked, I need to escape, where is the key?

I see my soul shattered all around with images that scare me.

I need to get my mind right so these images I do not see.

I'm trying to do better so I can heal and go home.

This place helps me to comprehend and understand so I do not feel alone.

Some days I hate it and I wish I could go away.

But then I live and feel grateful to see another day.

Conflicted by my feelings, I know I need to break free from the battlefield of my mind.

Getting help was the first step to learning and starting to feel fine.

Like a war, I had to pull out my ammo and my gun.

The smoke had to pass so I could see the sun.

My mind made me a casualty of war and I should have been dead.

It was a made-up book of the unbelievable in my head.

I am in this place so my mind can win the war.

I will get better so like an eagle, I can soar.

It is a battlefield of the mind and I know that I can do this.

I say goodbye to my demons and seal it with a kiss.

This battle I need to fight and I need to win.

Getting rid of all the baggage and my life of sin.

I am seeking treatment so I can get all the weapons for defeat.

This will not be easy and it will not be neat.

I will have to sort through all the mess and see what is there.

I will have to go through all the depths of despair.

I know when I get through that I am going to be okay.

With each prayer, I feel grateful and thankful for each new day.

When I go home, I know it will be a new mindset, a new me.

No more battlefield because my mind has been set free!