Bastard Prayer

Bastard Prayer

I don’t know when it was

Or why it happened

But I hope that someday

I will cross your mind

I hope that I am a constant thought

In the back of your brain.

Every night as you lay in your bed

I hope you feel a little bit of guilt

Before you shut your eyes

I hope as you dream

You wonder what became of me.

I hope you wake up one day

Driven mad by your dreams

To search for me.

I hope you pray…

I hope you pray that when

You find me

I will forgive you.

Forgive you for

Your absence

Your silence

Your choice.

In your quandary

What am I going to be to you?

Just a sad hope that I could be something to you

Something that you can just slip something smelly and used into the mail

That you think that I should be grateful for

To you, this is making an effort.

To me I just feel like the infidelic child

That you are obligated to.

Congratulations

For spitting me into the world.

To me that is where the real answer lies.

I was fine without you as I pick up the pieces all by myself.

I am happier without you here

Tarnishing each phone call

With happy waste.