baby goats

I am on a drive with my dad when he says

“I hope this mild winter lasts”

My dad has a habit of taking me on drives

when he wants to get me to tell him something

I am a wild animal he has cornered

like if he can get me in the same space for long enough

eventually I will be his friend

This drive was usual

“What are your plans after college”

“Do you really think this acting thing will last”

“How is your car holding up”

“What is your sister doing dating that clog”

That is the word he uses.

Clog.

I have known my father my whole life and

in that time he has not changed much

He still uses words like clog

still takes me on drives to look at baby goats

to get me to talk about my life

still doesn’t believe in climate change

even though the world is on fire

Even though I want to tell him

that maybe I have more to contribute to the world

than being a wife and a mother

even though I want to scream at him and tell him

the world is changing and he better change along with it

or get left behind

even though I am on fire

I know exactly what he will say

so I sit

we drive

he says

“I hope this mild winter lasts”

and I say

“me too”.