B.P.D ( Borderline Personality Disorder )

B.P.D (Borderline Personality Disorder)

Let me be

B.P.D

What is it?

Borderline Personality disorder,

My OCD wants the last two words switched. Haha.

My thoughts race,

You can tell by the look on my face.

My moods can go from happy and smiling to raging in a matter of seconds.

You’d think a “normal” person would notice and smarten their ass up.

Not me.

Not my mind.

My mind is down the street and has turned the corner to run and find a new adventure.

Hide and seek with my mind.

Everyday.

Not everyone understands or truly gets it, or what I am experiencing,

So sometimes I fake it, fake happiness.

Fake it until you make it.

I hate that saying.

I hate the war raging inside my head.

The one I battle everyday.

I can sometimes win.

I said, sometimes people. Haha.

Everyday I can fight it.

Fight and thrive.

But sometimes, the pain becomes too much.

Like a rush.

A rush of craziness, I can’t help it.

So I enlist some help.

That’s okay to do, that’s what we do.

As human beings that’s what we do, ask for help.

That is okay.

What I want is for people to understand Borderline better.

So I don’t have to explain my impulsiveness, unusual behavior.

I’m joining a support group too.

To help me learn more about my mental health, coping skills to deal with one of the top 30 disorders to live with.

All that and terminally ill, god damn I’m a trill. Haha.

My life is a wild ride.

I’m part of the dark side sometimes, but I’m also a rebel as well.

I will fight and learn about this until my bittersweet end.

Thank you.

-ej