As I Am

So comes the rain and by nightfall I shall remain as I am.

Filled not with weariness, but incapacitating sorrow.

The sun streams in through the cracks of the blinds.

I cover my eyes.

How strange it is for the sun to shine while pouring down rain.

How contradicting, as to smile when crying, or to laugh when in pain.

When will this feeling subside?

When will I feel alive?

Will I love again? will I trust again?

How I wish to be young again, when love was easy and unconditional.

I ponder, then I sleep.

And I shall remain as I am.