Apology Letter

I will not apologise for my reaction to my circumstances

I could've known better, used better discretion

But I've never been able to take charge in this house,

Why would outside be any different?

I'm always doing something wrong, it's just yet to be proven

So anxious I feel to act or behave in a way that slips the mould, when I'm under the watch of authority, nothing is possible, nothing other than following the line

But when I lean into you, out of anxiety and judgement, into a soft bath of affection, a well I could never ask to be rescued from, it is surely better

To rot and stink in your arms suits me better than thriving in this home

And I cannot apologise for saying this

I will not apologise for my reaction

You wouldn't have wanted me to

And that's enough