Anger #2

How I'm dealing with It?

I'm not.

I don't know how to deal with It.

It hurts to try fight back.

There are a lot of way's I try tend to use to deal with my anger, Boxing bag, walks, video, talking, music.

Not many I know but not much can calm me down I just found these the best to use.

They don't help a lot to be very honest but It's a start.

I use to write when I was mad, It worked well use to until I just couldn't handle It.

Some people asked me that being alone makes you calm down.

Being alone makes me more angry and more anxious.

It's like the beast inside me doesn't want to get controlled.

The beast?

The beast terrifies me.

But It's me.

I'm terrified of myself.

"why are you scared of yourself"

Because when I'm mad I'm scared that I might hurt people.

I'm scared that I might hurt my partner or her family or mine.

That makes me scared of myself.

Knowing If this carries on then I might end up hurting the one's I love.

I'm terrified of myself.

I need help.

I need help.

I'm losing myself day after day to this thing called anger.

But.

Luckily my partner Is with me.

It's like she was the one I called to In my dreams when I needed someone.

She's my beacon my life.

She guides me through the tough times.

She talks to me and calms me down when I need It the most.

This Is why I need help.

The sooner I get better the sooner she'll feel safe.