An Ongoing War

About 55 years ago I was having a conversation with my mom

whether or not I should go to Vietnam

Should I enlist and move on?

Or Maybe… just maybe…

They'll make the decision for me

And draft me out of this hateful country.

When I was growing up, I was beat with baseball bats

And I had to show my parents and listen to them say

there's "noting we can do about it"

We'll stitch you up and you go on and find somewhere else to play.

Oy vey! …

Oy vey.

•••

American History always talks about the Jim Crow south which is necessary, yet funny to me,at least, because all of those unfair society rules, I call them games, came from a not so gay place; Michigan state.

So anyway, I joined and I had the plan of killing some "brownies" and dying for my country. Not fame, just my claim to freedom from pain.

rewind: “brownies” is an ironic term coming out of my mouth because do you see the color of my skin?

But that's what they called them,

And I just wanted to fit in

And hopefully not deal with something hard banging In

To the side of my head.

Again. Again. And again.

•••

When I stepped out of that plane,

I kid you not, it was 130 degrees

Of course,

a majority

Of the other soldiers were white so they were the ones that had the supplies of need.

And I had 3

Heat strokes within my first month there.

You get medicine, I get a rag and pond water

How the hell is that fair?

Only the beginning.

••

The world says men should be tough,

they should be Strong, and not show enough

of a heart of love. No emotions.

But I tell you it's hard to be that man

When your best friend is drowning

In an ocean

Of his own blood.

And you have to be the one

to hold his hand and tell him

"There's nothing we can do, bud."

And in his last gripping moments you'll look him in the eyes

And listen to all the truths he now changes to lies

This is a man you've been fighting with, eating with, secretly crying with, and now He Dies.

•••

Many years later, I’d never twice make the same mistake

Black, brown, orange, gray

bottom, fluid, closed, gay

Nothings changed.

we see one thing on the TV, opposite at the market.

Maybe the issue is the country, a 1% and majority always searching for a target.

Excuse me, a profit**

Call me a novice, but it seems

thoughtless to wishfully assume things could change.

Ironically, im an optimist, but data countlessly puts that to shame.

It’s relentless.

•••

If my masculine kisses and love don’t fly to you, as a stray muddy bullet, why should you care?

If a union of three for them brings happiness and peace, why should you care?

If she is he today and them tomorrow, why should you care?

There’s no answer you could share.

I, on the other hand, would truthfully declare,

That there is always an unjust state of affairs

Which impairs many from feeling the real reality…

All wars never end, as long as we exist in duality.