An Apology to Mama

Mama, I know you have sacrificed everything for me -

The possibility of a career was diminished

And you've never been allowed to truly love a man or even be free.

Because of me

Your life was on the line on the 27th of January

And the doctors said it was either you or me.

When both of us made it, you'd give up your sleep

To fight away my continuous fevers

And keep me safe from pain as best as could be.

But I seem to be great at throwing your efforts back in your face.

Especially as a teenager

I thought you were a disgrace -

A woman willing to be stepped on by society

And locked in the house as though it were a cage.

I would hide in my room for years

'Cause I thought you were moulding me into a slave,

But now I realise your only wish was to shape me

Into the best version of myself;

And teach me to let go of all my rage.

I'm sorry, mama, for wasting so much time

Feeling angry at you when you are nothing less than sublime,

I know it's not too late to make amends

So I want to make you happy before we say the final goodbye.