am i a good dancer?

Will I always be a performer without a stage? A crooked smile, wide eyes, and anger vibrating my entire body.

They say I am a good dancer but this is just my bones quaking from fear, moving my muscles, moving my flesh, do you think it's sexy? To watch me break down like this?

I can indulge hedonism if it's for my own demise. I am my own sadist.

Somewhere there was supposed to be a parachute. I jumped, the clouds did not catch me. My slow descent back to earth was unsettling.

I shut my eyes, let my thoughts bubble, and waited for impact.

Most days it feels like I landed somewhere other than Earth. I feel foreign.

This ground feels too soft and my feet, too heavy. I am just an inhabitant of a planet I never belonged on anyway.