Am I a counterfeit diamond?

Admittedly, I want to write the greatest story you've ever read

I'm sitting at the lunch table, writing poems in my head

Fast forward 10 years, now I'm writing in his bed

I romanticize everything everyone's ever said

I've got a habit of woman-splaining everything with a touch more poetry

Writing every memory down uncontrollably

In everything, I try to find beauty

Honestly, it kind of feels silly

I'm on a lifelong hunt for gold stars

So long as there's a story that follows, I'll take the scars

Let me be clear: I'd never hurt a soul

But even if this dream is a curse, I need to reach my goal

At this point, it feels beyond my control

I've always been more of a thinker than a drinker

Been considering it's time I put them together

If I can have decent ideas when I'm sober,

imagine what'll happen when I go down under

So... yeah, I want a seat at their table

At the place where you can check in, but never leave

Maybe my irrelevance is really a reprieve

But then why do I have so many tricks up my sleeve?

This all must mean something, right?

My best friend is always telling me, "you'll do great things!"

Though honestly, I think she may be worried what I'll do if I don't

It comes down to this --

There's meant to be's and wannabe's

If it's all in my head, would someone just have the decency to tell me?

Don't be scared, I may even thank you for it

Maybe I'll finally take off the corset

And instead, just start waiting for a simple love by my doorstep

Probably not though...

Is there even a difference between hopeful and hopeless?

"You need a plan B," they said

But I won't fear I won't stop til' I'm dead.