Alone

In solitude

My heart opens

I feel a space open around me

to fill up

to be

a cocoon of safety

for a time

before it starts to smother me

in a deafening silence

Obsession

with breaking it down

like an unwilling larva

crying out to the swallows above

They come and pick at the proteinaceous shell

Squirming with discomfort,

I retreat into the silence,

the deafening silence,

that comforts me

again

Until the next time

I forget this story

Until the next time

I surrender to resistance

and beg for the swallows to come

This silence

This space

taking on the sacred geometry

of a nautilus shell