Almost

I almost got married

Fulfilled my dream

The ideas I made up when I was a child

The high school sweetheart I thought

would always love only me

My first and final kiss

I almost finished college

Almost did what I swore I’d do

Open the door my parents never could

even dream of opening

I studied all night

I tried with all my might

I almost moved to my dream city

I almost ended up with the man of my dreams

With the fire I always desired

with the skin and eyes I always hoped

would look at me when I woke up.

Sleepy, with the sun shining in them.

I almost dropped out

I almost drowned my sorrows in rum

I almost killed myself

I flipped my car

I almost gave up

So many times I stopped counting

I was almost raped

I almost told somebody.

Spilled the beans

that have been boiling within

for years

and years.

But I didn’t.