All that Was And All That Could Have Been

I was with him when he realised what he’d done

Witnessing that very moment of his mental clarity,

Shocked to see it hit home and boy did it hit hard

It was never his intention to live with such disparity.

***

I was concerned when I noticed his silent weeping

His pain tormenting him, as he cried without tears,

He seemed to be locked into his memories, a trance

As he worked through emotions from sadness to fears.

***

I then heard him whisper, “I have fucked myself up”

As he crucified himself for the memories and realisation,

It was obvious to me the source of his torment, his pain

Was because he believed he truly deserved damnation.

***

He mourned deeply for all that was in his grim reality

And especially suffered for all that could have been,

It clearly hit hard as it all come crashing down upon him

He struggled once he realised all was not as it seemed.

***

I was uncertain as to how to console his heartache

There were no words that I could speak to calm him,

As his feelings and torment erupted deeply from within

There’s no easy fix, no words, things were looking grim.

***

So I silently sat, hoping my presence offered comfort

As he worked through his pain, I hoped to console,

But he was too deeply entrenched in his torment

And all I could do was listen to the sobbing of his soul.

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Originally posted on Medium