All according to plan

Nothing is going like I planned.

I feel the anxiety trying to twist me into knots

- the urge to control -

A deep need in my gut.

Compelling me to make sure I have the perfect plan.

I feel the urge to berate myself

- to self destruct -

Everything is crumbling.

-

At last

I see the true need:

take action,

release control,

trust.

Trust.

-

Why is releasing

so much harder than holding on?

I know how to hold on

- how to cling too tight -

To twist myself in knots.

I know it very well.

I also know

it no longer serves me.

-

I no longer wish to cling.

I wish to flow.

I flow.

I accept when my plan fails me

- I feel the anxiety -

Then, I transmute it.

Energy into action,

action into release.

-

It wont go as planned

and its going to be ok.

I trust that when my plans fail

it is because the universe has a different one

- waiting for me -

-

And, honestly,

I'm learning planning -

isn't my strong suit.

So, I might as well release the need to craft the perfect one

and let the universe do what I cannot.

I release the need to plan

I embrace the flow.