A Totally Regular Normal Dream I Had

I had a dream the other day

I knew it fiction right away

Cuz sleeping next to me there lay

Not one lady but two

*

A smile to start my dreamy day

Got up from bed with no delay

Put on my suit, went on my way

Dream me had work to do

*

I left for school at a run

The school was on floor 31

An office building overrun

By wily lawyer dudes

*

There it was I met a man

No taller than a garbage can

He taught me law and helped me plan

To be a lawyer too

*

This story’s not all fun and games

I found my teacher’s hidden shame

One night I saw him twist and change

And howl at the moon

*

His wolfy eyes had locked on me

He charged me and I tried to flee

I would have died but luckily

I was a werewolf too

*

He went to pounce but then he smothered

Me with hugs for we were brothers

We knew we’d be there for each other

Lawyer werewolf crew

*

Our special moment did not last

He looked at me and then he asked

About the tale I told him last

Of women that I screwed

*

He looked at me and then he cried

“You’re such a stupid fuckin guy

Lycanthropy’s an STI

You gave it to those two”

*

The blood drained from my furry face

For that’s illegal in this place

And for my crimes I’d have to face

A lifetime in the zoo

*

A guy like me would not survive

I hugged my brother and I sighed

Forced to open up my eyes

And finally come to

*

And as I rub sleep from my eyes

I sit here and I realize

If good guys give you STIs

They’re bad guys through and through