a night kind of motivation

the funny thing is

it's almost 12am

and instead of doing the

reading i'm supposed to

be doing for school i

am instead

spending my time

thinking of things i can

write about with my

rough hands wondering

whether or not i should

be sleeping instead

but there's nothing i'd

rather do than waste

my time here with you

explaining my thoughts

through paper and pen or

between the lines

of a keyboard and screen

i wonder if

there is anything that

actually brings any

substance to this kind

of writing or if it is

really just boredom

on a page an

uninspired rage

a procrastinating

motivation that

spreads without

inspiration

can i write?

i wanna sing

i want my words to

hit hard with whoever

happens to be on the

other side of the screen

the eyes reading this

darting back and

forth as if they are

ping-ponging

don't you feel that

longing? the feelings

i am trying to describe

that ache for a kind of

thought, that kind of

inspiration that only

ever seems to reach

me around three

Ay Em

as if it's only legally

allowed to infiltrate

there and

nowhere else

why can't it

find me at

three Pee Em

like any normal

thing why must

it instead be

in my head

at the exact

time it's not

supposed

to be?