A message

My heart does this thing…

It flutters with excitement

A feeling that halts my breath and puts a smile on my lips.

There’s a small sound coming from my phone, your name on the screen.

I hesitate but a moment to read it wanting to remain in this moment of heart flutters and excitement.

But I give in as the two minute reminder dings.

Scanning the letters on my screen which form words that give me hope.

I consider for the moment my response.

Clever? Funny? Cute? Thoughtful? Or simple and straightforward.

As I type my heart does this thing…

It beats a little faster, my breathing a bit quick. The smile fades to anxiety as I bite my lip.

Too much, I think.

Oh well I decide, as my fingers cease their movements. Then one light tap and away the message goes.

Time passes by without a reply. My mind wanders to other tasks at hand.

But my heart does this thing…

It begins to weigh heavy inside my chest. A sigh of disappointment escaping my lips.

No longer smiling, more time passes and hope fades.

My heart does this thing…

It returns to status quo, a bit bruised but beating simply to continue life.

I whisper to the universe “When will I ever matter enough?”