A Forever of Corners

I’ve seen you in their smiles

Watched for it

Ached for it

That gleam

I know you’ve brushed past me

For I’ve smelt your perfume

Air so pure I couldn’t regulate my breath -

My breath -

My breathing

Wonder how many more times I can enter this race

Wandering around it - the thickness of darkness

Turn the light on

Turn the light on

Someone please turn the light on

I’ve glimpsed you

In mirrors

In my shadow

I’ve dreamt of you in colour but left waking with the ashes

I’ve got no tastebuds in a world that speaks in colour

The tip of my tongue

I know how to mimic you

Alter my voice so it sounds familiar

But my teeth are the gravestones where my truth lies buried

Ten steps behind in a maze I didn’t join

Trying to catch up - belted to a treadmill

Matching my steps to fool my mind

Can’t find you in the ordinary

Force it to be extra

I’ve studied you

A fairground ride I could never afford

Everything I’ve given in a fruitless trade

Burned what I could to smoke you out

Memorised your definition to chant it aloud

I’ve found you

The bend in the turn

I saw you

A speck

Round that corner

The next one

The next one

The next

Frozen terrain

Trudging through mud

A forever of corners

I chase after for every time