A Drowning Daughter

Father,

I told you I was drowning

You said the water I was swallowing was good for me

That I was going to be hydrated

Could you not see that the water was black, like a smoker’s lungs

It was not safe, Father

My veins, it turned to sandpaper

It hurt every time my heart pumped blood

I told you I wanted to die

You said there was no way I could be in that much pain

Not at your age, you said

You’re overreacting, you said

The more I sank

The more symptoms I had

My lungs began to fill but no longer with air

My brain began to send signals to my body

But no longer to walk or breathe

I was diagnosed with depression

Father

Could you not see

I was dying before your eyes

I am so lucky to be alive

I am so lucky to have a mother who was not afraid to dive in to save me

I am so lucky

I am so lucky

Father

I forgive you

Even if you were supposed to save me