A (delayed) Visit from St Nicholas
A Christmas Eve Horror
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was quiet, not even a mouse;
The stockings were slumped by the chimney still empty,
In hopes that the gifts I bought soon would prove plenty;
The children were chatting all snug in their beds;
While I questioned the prudence of giving them meds;
And mamma was wanting a nice Christmas movie,
But if her hopes weren’t yet shattered, they would very soon be,
When up on the landing there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my sofa to see what was the matter.
Away to the hallway I flew like a flash,
Tore up the staircase in a jittering dash.
The moon peeping through the gap in the curtain,
Gave a lustre of midday to what was now certain,
When what to my horrified eyes did appear,
But a miniature person and his two stuffed reindeer.
With a well practiced dive so nimble and quick,
I knew in a moment he was going to be sick.
More rapid than eagles his dinner then came,
And he cried and he moaned and he called out my name.
Now, pastry, now cheese, now tomato and beans!
On, chocolate, on mincemeat, on sweet clemantines!
To the top of the stairwell and over the railing!
All down the wall, my catching job failing!
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, splatter up high;
So up to the coving, the vomit, it flew,
Coating the house in a terrible goo,
And then, in a twinkling, I knew what I’d done,
The Christmas eve dinner, too rich for my son!
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
I heard from before me a terrible sound.
He was dressed in a onesie, from his head to his toe,
And his clothes were all tarnished with vomit, and oh!
A gurgling explosion was heard at his back,
And I abandoned all thought of a nice evening snack.
His eyes—how they watered! His skin was so clammy!
His cheeks were like roses, he wanted his Mammy!
His droll little mouth was all slack like a rip,
And the sick on his chin was beginning to drip;
The tail of his reindeer he held tight in his fist,
And I thought with a pang of his sweet Christmas list;
He had a sad face and as he rubbed at his belly
Then he started to laugh, despite being smelly.
He pointed his reindeer up at my hair,
And I laughed when I saw it, though I really did care;
A brown lump of sick was stuck to my head
But his laugh had implied I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the bathroom,
And we showered him down by the light of the kind moon.
And scrubbed at the floors, upstairs and down,
And stroked his soft forehead and smoothed his small frown
Then he lay down and I went to my work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
As he snuck in behind me and sidling up,
He held out before me a blue plastic cup;
“The reindeer need milk” his little voice said,
And we filled it, and placed it, and took him to bed.
And I heard him exclaim, ere his eyes closed up tight—
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
About the Creator
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Compelling and original writing
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Comments (4)
Almost better than the original 😁 made me fell a bit ill at points 😅
This is so clever and witty! Excellent writing. I'm lucky, I have 4 kids and never had a tummy trouble Christmas.
I laughed so hard. I have to make this poem a Christmas tradition. You had me at 'While I questioned the prudence of giving them meds;'
Love this! I laughed and gagged at the reality set against the traditions of the holiday. Excellent! 🥰