A collection of clerihews

The clerihew is a verse form invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley (1875-1956). It consists of four short lines in rhymed couplets, with the first line always being the name of a person. What follows may or may not be true!

Here are a few of mine, written at various times:

*

Queen Elizabeth the First

Was by no means the worst

It was best to be wary

Of her sister Queen Mary

*

Queen Victoria

Went to a trattoria

Albert sat down and snoozed

She wasn’t amused

*

Jeremy Corbyn

Found it absorbin’

To take copious notes

When campaigning for votes

*

Theresa May

Was discovered one day

In search of an exit

Other than Brexit

*

Nigel Farage

Went to his garage

His car was resplendent

And, of course, independent

*

William the Second

Was generally reckoned

A total disgrace

As well as red in the face

*

Edmund Clerihew Bentley

Always did things gently

When it came to writing verse

He was never less than terse

*

Margaret Thatcher?

No-one could catch her

As everyone would learn

She was not one to turn

*

General George Gorringe

Was eating an orange

To celebrate the time

He provided a rhyme

*

Donald J Trump

Was given a thump

His chances are shrinking

Or is this wishful thinking?

*

William Shakespeare

Often makes appear

For me, lots and lots

Of ideas for good plots

*

Charles John Huffam Dickens

The plot often thickens

In Bleak House, dense mist

But not in Oliver Twist

*

Geoffrey Chaucer

Drank from a saucer

As did most of the males

In his Canterbury Tales

*

King Richard the Third

Might have thought it absurd

That his bones would long fester

Neath a car park in Leicester

*

Percy Bysshe Shelley

Was putting on a welly

When out popped a toad –

But it didn’t get an ode

*

Emperor Nero

Was never a hero

He wrote many a Latin idyll

But he never played the fiddle

*

Emperor Commodus

Never kept the job in focus

He thought himself a doughty fighter

Instead? A nasty little blighter

*

Alistair McGowan

Has audiences wowin’

Footy’s his obsession

But he makes a good impression