A Better Me

I set out to be

A better me

A version I see

Who has all the keys,

--

Who knows what to say

And is always okay

And can carry the weight

And keeps others safe.

--

I set out to do

All I could for you,

And my best: sad excuse

Should have stayed a recluse.

--

This feels like the last one,

This seems like the last try,

When even my heaven

Can wave me off, "Goodbye."

--

This feels like a spiral,

Like bog mud and quicksand.

It feels like a tunnel

With no light at the end.

--

I've been down here with myself

Pulling old plans from my shelf.

But, like old clothes, it can't help

When I've outgrown what I once felt.

--

I was OK with my life.

I was good with my lone nights.

I was happy with what I prized.

Why'd you take what you don't like?

--

I'm out. I am done.

Congrats. You have won.

You are right. I'll be wrong.

If it ends this damn song.