2020

2020

Jamie is making a salsa, yellow corn

red and green oh and orange capsicum

(I hate the green - repeat special)

The kid is interrupting, eating crisps

FFS, Bear, I’m making a cooking show here

Lee wonders if there’s going to be any advocado in it

What do you mean advocado? quizzes Jenny

Why, what did I say?

You mean avocado?

Yes, advocado

It’s avocado. You’re not confusing this with advocaat are you?

(That reminds me of that 70s cocktail, a fluffy duck: advocaat, cream and white rum)

I love these two.

Oh eye, look at those eyes.

Mr Paul Hollywood you dreamy blue wonder

You can bake my cake any day

But red is the main colour, there’s not enough red.

Oh hang on, isn’t that the teeny tiny graphic of the virus? A red dandelion?

There’s not much good red, just bad red.

Fire truck, good? Well probably bad, it’s the colour of disaster. Danger, fire.

Communists? Not good. They used to say reds under the bed. What colour is Trump’s party? Opposite end of the spectrum ideologically, same colour. Interesting.

Blood? Not good. Usually not good. No ones likes a period, that’s all taboo. It’s only really okay when the baby is born. That’s the only real, good blood?

Oh ... LOVE?! I forgot about that. A love heart. Why is that archetypically red? Because of our heart, our real heart for real life?

Yawn

Brown is so underrated. All the fun stuff, coffee cigarettes chocolate roast meat potatoes, a good poo.

Oh Paul Hollywood is eating a 350 quid strawberry. Even the stalk tasted good. Oh yeah, pigs arse. Why isn’t pink in the rainbow? It’s so upsetting for a little girl learning ROYGBIV. Where’s the pink? The best colour and she can’t use it.

Apparently purple is royalty.

HRH is comparing lockdown with V day.

Till we meet again.

Tears are blue, balls are blue,

Blueberries are really purple.

Blue from lack of breath and death.

Yeah, that’s me.