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i keep pretending to be strong

I need to collapse

But everyone else wants to be first

To faint and collapse and flee

I am standing strong without crutches

That is not brave, I am pretending

My guts are twisted, my womb in tact

My skin is busted and hot with pain

My name is wrapped like a noose

Around Your painted airs

You cut my rope

And I fell

I still got up after

I cried while no one came

They all heard it

But especially you,

You heard nothing and everything

Forgetting the seeds you planted Saying that the flowers looked like lemon spring,

But you secretly wanted summer or winter,

How could I know that?

I was only responding to what I saw heard and felt

Not knowing you did it only for reaction

Not knowing you'd switch it around

And say it was only me that felt anything

Now I am pretending

That this is fair

Just so you feel guiltless.