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-

---

(that's the sound I long to hear)

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-

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(every once in a while, at least)

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-

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(the sound of little to nothing)

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-

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(no interference, no radiostatic)

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-

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(perhaps a little babbling brook)

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(just for the cliché, tranquillity)

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(gentle, distant bird song choral)

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(our rhythmic drum-drum heartbeats)

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-

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(a breeze that is almost soundless)

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(augmented by the scent of heather)

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-

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-

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(just breathe, sit, breathe, just)

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-

Slipping

slipping and sliding

sliding and dipping

in and out in and out

different

different and difficult

difficult and dissonant

in and out in and out

rare

rare is a compliment

well meaning, asinine

rare is a crux, a falsity

a façade with which to hide

hide from the fact I'll never

be, anything other than me, but

breathe

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-

---

-

take two pills

bitter my throat

calms my nerves

eats my anxiety

soothes the intrusion

but never cures

I

I

---

-

---

- I just am

Just am holding on

Holding on tightly

so the ropes and the metal

imprint and break my skin

remind me I'm alive and fighting

still fighting

flailing a lot, but never failing completely

falling a lot, but never reaching the bottom

I should... we should

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-

--

--

-

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Write a book, a memoir

not all tales are worth telling

but who decides

I need to be more than just me

the constant battle to be

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-

---

-

better?

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Just breathe

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Maybe the point is there's no point, maybe the point is that there is a point but it's not really a point that we think is the actual point.

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Maybe we are chasing a point that is more rounded and haphazard, jagged and varied than we thought?

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-

On the days when the light is too bright and the world too... everything

I sit on my chair, my favourite chair, and wile away the hours of nothing

as the world turns, the world learns, disarms, burns, and chaos reigns

I just sit.

Sit in my own little bubble. I won't say happy, never say happy, because

it's a trap.

it's my trap.

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-

Just---

be---

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-

---

-

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(just breathe, sit, breathe, just be)

*

Thanks for reading