Wally, the best-worst dog ever.

I have the worst best dog ever.

I don’t know how the whole reincarnation process works but, I’m pretty sure my dog, Walter is on his third or- tenth go in life. He is my second dog but, the first one I picked out on my own. I’m realizing just how much dogs make a better life for us human folk.

I walked into the animal shelter, the smell of wet dog hair, excrement and despair hung in the air. Dogs barked and howled in every direction. It was then that I spotted him, an enormous, furry, black beast. He sat straight up in his kennel watching passersby, I approached him and he stepped closer to the chain link divide. His eyes, a soft hazelnut brown, looked ancient and wise. His eyes didn’t leave mine, it was as though he called me, willing me to take him out.

His tail went nuts, swishing back in forth in all its fluffy glory. His long pink tongue unrolled down the side of his mouth. His stance was noble, immediately I felt a connection with him. His eyes, his soul. The majestic beast already took hold of my heart.

So the adventures began with Walter, a large, furry, black and white mystery breed dog. His sign read Retriever mix. A mix with what though? I am convinced he’s part New foundland based on looks and characteristics, however I have no way real of knowing. He runs at high speeds, climbs over the fence and escapes the yard, and he jumps onto outside picnic tables.

To say he was remotely well behaved would be a lie. He let his bladder loose on the carpets, he destroyed toys, and he ate children’s socks, he once opened a Krispy Kreme donut box, took 7 glazed donuts, ate them and closed the lid promptly in a span of five minutes of being alone. (I hide my treats from now on.) He must have a real sugar monkey on his back.

He barks when he thinks its dinner time, he barks to go outside, he barks when he it’s time to wake up, he barks when he’s bored and he barks when somebody comes to the door. He takes stairs two at a time, and sits on the bottom step like a human, he lays on the couch, he jumps up on the bed uninvited, and he’s a pretty lousy cuddle partner on most occasions. But when he does, on snowy winter days he is the warmest creature to take naps with, like a heated blanket. He is all safety, and love.

When I tell him no, he swims on the ground like a fish, his legs flailing about, and he looks right at me with a normal face and he makes growling sounds that sound like they belong to an alligator. Really weird and prehistoric, pretty funny really. Look it up if you’ve never heard an alligator growl before. There is no creature quite like this, where he pushes every button I have but still makes me feel just as twitter patted as ever… he is my partner in crime, my burly bouncer and class clown.

Walter loves vegetables and comes running like a Guinea pig when he hears you open the produce drawer in the fridge. He loves to chase balls and small tires in the yard and to lounge under his shady apple tree, when he isn’t trying to climb it and pull all the apples down. He avoids the water like its hot lava, unless he’s drinking it.

One day he got away with a piece of my daughters pizza crust, the day I found out just how smart, but also how stubborn he is on a daily basis. I yelled “drop it “nothing happened, I tried “spit it out” and there went the crust, he spit it from his mouth as asked, and slunk downstairs. Where had he learned that from? I quickly learned after playing fetch it was not a coincidence, he does it every time you tell him to. Oh how I enjoy being a dog companion. (I’m on the fence about saying dog “owner.”)

He’s the only dog I have ever known that while being deathly afraid of dog nail clippers, chews and clips his own nails but, only if he thinks you’re not looking. Then you’ll hear a *crunch, crunch…CRUNCH* Oh, how I love thee oh, dogger.

I don’t know if he really is an old recycled soul, but that’s how it feels to me, there is something behind those big, handsome, knowing eyes, feels like he’s been around longer than I. I love my mysterious, ancient souled, floppy eared, poufy tailed behemoth with one name, one middle name and four last names. Walter Elias Mathieu Cronkite Disney Anderson. Its best said out of the mouth of a child, as she hugs and kisses an ever so patient big lug.