The Twins

Hi, said Beth to the new neighbours would you like to come round for a drink introduce yourself to us, then we can welcome you into our street officially. Jill looked for a moment quite blank and said, sorry you see it’s difficult today, because my husband is working tonight, and I am left with the twins alone. Twins? Said Beth how delightful. What are their names. Thomas and John said, Beth. Oh, please bring them with you. Jill said sorry we have a strict bedtime regime you see, and it's past theirs already. They belong to my sister Alice she is away until tomorrow.

They seem nice said Harry, as he kissed Jill before leaving for work, I will be home by 11 pm he waved. The twins had been so naughty. She regretted agreeing to look after them for her sister. One more day than they will be gone thought Jill. She put the boys to bed after feeding them and settled down in front of the TV there was nothing was worth watching. In the end, she decided to pour a glass of wine and take it with her to her warm bath. That will relax me thought Jill with a smile. Oh, No, the wines empty it's all gone. She put her shoes on and picked up the car keys. One last check the boys were sleeping. It was a twenty minutes drive to get the wine, The boys were locked in the bedroom all was well. On the way home, she got a flat tire. Oh bugger what do I do now, she thought. She rang Harry look she said it’s now 9.30 I am stuck here all alone on a busy road. You have no choice, come and get me. NOW, she demanded. Harry said reluctantly OK. Are the boys in bed? Yes she snapped hurry up

On the way home, she followed Harry’s car. He was fine now, he couldn’t stay mad at her for long. They pulled up on the drive odd thought Jill I left the lounge lights on. I am am sure I did. They got in and Harry went to check on twins. JILL He shouted hurry up the phone the police. They are not here. Somebody must have broken in. They are both gone. No cried, Jill.

The police arrived Jill was sobbing she said the twins have been taken please find them we’re looking after them for my sister Alice. Please find them. Harry was in tears, as he said look please just find them. Can I ask said the policeman what made you just leave them alone like this? did it not occur how vulnerable they are. He sent for back up saying to the desk Sargent you may want to get social services here fast. Harry and Jill looked puzzled but said nothing. The neighbours came round look please don’t think we're being Rude but is everything OK? No there has been a break in the twins have been taken. No, said, Beth. Jill explained she had gone out for wine. Oh, my word said Beth why did you leave them. I would have looked after them if you had asked. The police officer coughed loudly. Beth said ease keep us informed apologised to them for coming round and left.

The police officer asked was there a photo, of the twins please; Harry said no sorry. The officer was getting angrier by the relaxed attitude of Harry and Jill. Look give me your sister's phone number said the officer she needs to know about this situation. At that, the phone rang. Harry chatted a few moments then said thanks for letting us know. He said to Jill it’s OK Alice came round while you where out she let herself in and waited. She rang you a few times, you’re mobile was engaged. You must have been on the phone to me. She then left a note on the kitchen table telling us she had the boys. Oh My word said Jill, I really thought someone had taken them. We are sorry officer, we have wasted your time.

Now just you hold on said the police officer you can be charged for what you have done, and social services are on the way. This isn’t over, it's illegal what you did tonight. yes, it’s turned out OK as you say. Yet don't you see what you did, leaving the children alone like this? What children said Harry and Jill at the same time. They started to laugh the police officer was getting angry, that’s it come on to the station you two, this is serious. It is not a joke. Harry reached for a magazine on the table look he said this is the boys, they're not children. They are bloody baby chimps who were being looked after by Jill’s sister because their mother had died. The sister who fosters animals that are in need. Officer look, read it if you think we're not telling the truth. She fosters animals in need, until a suitable zoo can be found. It took a while before the police officer saw the funny side of the matter. An hour later in the station, he told his boss about the whole story they cried laughing. It was two bloody baby monkeys, not kids, the Sargent said to social services on the phone. No we won't be needing you, bye

The next day Harry and Jill told the neighbours all about the boys being monkeys they all cried laughing. I can see said Beth we’re going to be the best of friends. To think last night I could not understand your actions leaving two children alone. I had you both down as mobsters. Jill smiled yes but think about it Beth, I never actually said the twins where children did I? They laughed as they raised a glass to the boys and Alice