The Challenges of Peeing at Night

When we are in our brick and mortar home, caring for the dogs is easy. We have a doggy door, and they take care of their own needs. However, a comedy of errors occurred last night that made me giggle and rethink my system when the pups need to go outside in the middle of the night.

I was sleeping soundly, so much so that I attributed the scratching to a tree limb rubbing on the window of the beach house I was at in my dream. When I heard the scratching the second time, I thought a squirrel must be living in the walls of the cabin that my dream had somehow transported me to during the previous couple minutes. Then the scratch was accompanied by a whine, and I new I was neither at the beach or a cabin but trying to get a goodnight's sleep in our motorhome somewhere in Nebraska.

Sure enough, Dagney needed to pee. Randy laid sleeping beside me and somehow hadn't noticed our pup's persistence. Or he was visiting some remote place in his dream. Figuring there was no reason for both of us to be awake, I stealthily rolled out of bed to assist our dog in doing her business.

Of course the harness and leash were nowhere to be found so I turned on the overhead light only to be greeted by Cisco our other pup. His eyes questioned, "Where are we going?" OK, I needed to locate both their leashes and quickly if Dagney's whining was a sign of that her needs were imminent.

Dagney, our princess, stepped into both holes of the harness as skillfully as a professional quick change artist. Cisco couldn't stand still long enough to make the process smooth. It took a couple attempts to get both legs into the holes. In fact, the first time he hobbled around, handicapped by what had become a straitjacket.

Another whine from Dagney hurried my actions reminding me of a child with crossed legs squirming uncontrollably. If it hadn't been so pathetic, it might have been cute. When the door opened, she flew out missing the top step. Just beyond the door mat, she squatted and her whole body relaxed within a second. Relief.

Taking the dogs out at night is a rare task; they usually sleep through the night. I imagine with age, Dagney's needs are becoming more immediate. Just as I have noticed the pressure to go to the bathroom more often myself.

Cisco being a young man wanted to sniff and explore. Once we walked away from the porch light, the fact that the flashlight still sat beside the sink in the motorhome became painfully apparent. Thank goodness I carried my cell phone because Cisco began circling, a sign that he needed to poop. Dang, my sleepiness had me unprepared. I searched my PJ pockets and found a tissue that would cover this emergency.

During my search, Dagney circled around her little brother creating a labyrinth with the leashes that captured me in the middle. I felt like a spider in a web. So balancing the phone flashlight in one hand, the now full bag of poop in the other, I turned my body and weaved one leash under the other until I secured my release. The entire time I prayed nobody was watching through their windows because not only did I look ridiculous, I felt a little exposed in my bed clothes. This was supposed to be a quick event.

One would think I had learned my lesson after the time I took Dagney out at night and she chassed the skunk down the driveway. I am a slow learner. Once free, I escorted the dogs back into the rig, removed the walking apparatus and climbed back in bed beside Randy. He didn't ask where I was or even grunt a thank you. I did overhear him ask for a second helping of mashed potatoes. He must have been enjoying a great meal in his dream.

The next morning, I cleaned out a drawer and placed all the essentials required for a successful poop run so I would be prepared next time. When I grumpily complained to Randy, he replied, "Why are you upset with me? I didn't do anything." I simply said, "I know."

If you are traveling with dogs be ready for late night walks. Organize a place to store the flashlight, leash, harness, poop bags, and phone so you are prepared for whatever might occur.

Follow our adventures as we travel across the US from Idaho to Maine. There is never a boring moment.

Read more stories on RVing in Retirement.

Enjoy Dagney's stories? Her book is available on Amazon.

Live a Satisfying Life By Doing it Doggy Style