She Chose Me

When I was fourteen years old, Boots, my adopted three year old farm cat, developed feline leukemia. We had to put him down, and I was heartbroken. He had been my little buddy and had been so full of energy until his last week. As any pet owner knows, you can never replace a previous pet, but when a friend encouraged me to check out some rescue kittens a few months later, I couldn’t resist the opportunity to have a kitten to cuddle again.

When I went to see the kittens, it was half-hearted. I was sad about losing Boots but I also really missed having a little companion. I went into the room where the kittens were kept. They were all on the floor crying and exploring, and I sat down to search for a new furry friend. While I was seated, if a kitten came close I petted it, picked it up and held it close to my chest to help it feel safe and warm. If it struggled, I set it back down; if it was comfortable, I cuddled it for a while.

As I was going through this process, to see which kitten might want to be chosen by me, a very curious little tortoise shell kept trying to scale me like a mountain. Every time I began to worry that she was getting high enough that she could fall and hurt herself, I picked her up and set her safely on my lap or on the floor. Without hesitation, she relentlessly attempted to climb me again. I focused my attention on her and with a hand under her, let her finish her climb to see what her end goal was.

When she reached my shoulder, she finally settled and sniffed my cheek with her cold wet nose and tickled me with her whiskers. I stroked her a few times and she cuddled into my neck on my shoulder. In that moment, I knew she had chosen me and I wasn’t going to let her down. I adopted her that day, and our bond grew quickly.

I named her Neko. She made it very clear that I was her person, exclusively. During my teenage years I dated a few young ladies and Neko did not take to any of them. At one point my girlfriend and I were cuddling on a couch and Neko walked along the back of the couch, hissed and took a swipe with her paw near the girl, obviously startling her. Neko did not regularly take such extreme measures to let me know her frustration, but she was always protective of me, and clearly demonstrated her dislike of some of my associates.

I didn’t know it when I adopted Neko, but tortoise shells are known for big personalities and being very particular. She was a very sassy cat. She was spoiled and demanded things her way. However, she would allow me to get away with things other humans could not, such as petting her belly. The one thing she could not tolerate from anyone though, was butt scratches. If you tried giving her scratches at the base of her tail, no matter who you were, the claws would be out.

Neko and my mother had a mutual disinterest in each other, but Neko would seek my mother out in the middle of the night to wake her up, and she would insist that my mother let her out. She would never wake anyone else in the house up for that duty. Neko and my father, on the other hand, had a love-hate relationship. Neko would usually want Dad’s attention when he was working on the computer. She would hop up onto his lap, and he would pet her. She would begin to purr, relax and lay down. A couple minutes later we would hear my dad yell as she had had enough from him and the teeth and claws would come out. She would jump off him and run away only to want back up on his lap 10-15 minutes later to repeat the process.

Neko treated me far better and trusted me more than anyone else in her life. Even as a fully grown cat she loved sitting on my shoulders or draping herself around my neck. If she got annoyed with me I would get a love bite rather than a chomp and only if we were play-fighting would she occasionally get too excited and bring out her claws. Nearly every night, she slept curled up on my arm, next to my chest, or if I was moving too much she would sleep next to my feet. She hated travelling by vehicle, especially in a carrier, and she preferred to hide behind my legs or sit on my lap and cry out her dissatisfaction. She felt safer when I could hold or pet her even in circumstances that were scary for her.

When I finished high school, she moved with me into a basement suite with my eldest brother when I went to university. When my brother moved out the following year, it was just Neko and I. I had night classes and worked a part-time job so I didn’t see many people and when I came home Neko was there to greet me for some pets and cuddles. During my third year of university, I became friends with the woman, whom I would later marry. For the first time ever, Neko willingly accepted attention from a woman I spent a significant amount of time with. I had finally found a female friend who met with Neko’s approval!

In my last year of university I briefly moved to my home town to complete a practicum and during this time I dated a woman. She got jealous of how much attention I gave to Neko and told me that I cared more about the cat than her. I agreed with her. I told her that Neko and I had formed a bond for over ten years, and I did care more about Neko than I did a woman that I hadn’t been dating very long. Needless to say, that relationship didn’t last!

After convocation, I got casual work for a year, and then Neko and I moved back to our home town for a full-time job. I bought a house and a year later, my best friend, Erika, became my girlfriend. Although she and Neko got along pretty well, Erika observed that Neko would never give sincere love and affection to anyone but me. Erika and I moved back to her hometown and Neko, patiently, but nervous as ever, travelled with me again.

Neko, already 11 years old, was still a very healthy, middle-aged cat with energy that could compete with a kitten’s. She would get bursts of energy and tromp around the place at a gallop, and Erika and I couldn’t help but laugh. If one of us was writing, she would attack the top of the pen and try to steal it from us. If we gave up and let her have it, she would hold it between her paws and look unsure what to do with it.

Neko began to develop some minor health issues. She stopped being able to digest dry food and started vomiting, so I switched her to a wet food diet. Unfortunately that caused plaque build up, but we found dental chews that she was able to keep down.

I was offered a new job in a small town. It was an opportunity for advancement, so for the last time, the three of us moved. The move was clearly hard on Neko who was now thirteen years old. She began making the odd mess outside of her litter box and she tended to be more agitated for the first six months. We were concerned she was starting a downward spiral. We saw her limping a little one day and were concerned she hurt herself. She limped into our bedroom, climbed, not jumped, up on our bed and would not let Erika or I even go near her without a growl or hiss; very uncharacteristic for her. We then realized it wasn’t just the move, she was developing arthritis in some of her joints. The messes were because she was having trouble making it downstairs to her litter box.

We moved her litter box into our bedroom along with her food and water so she would have minimum effort to fulfill her needs. It was somewhat unsanitary, but that is where she felt the safest. We immediately bought her food that promoted healthy joints and used a herbal remedy recommended by Erika’s aunt that had helped her pet with arthritis. Neko did a complete 180 in attitude and energy over the course of a week. She became my loveable buddy again.

Around this time I started growing a beard and “beard rubs” became Nekos new love in life. She would hop onto my lap and start nuzzling her head against my chin with a blissful expression on her face. If I would tolerate it, this would go on for 10-15 minutes.

Neko had only two more happy years with us until she developed dementia. She was regularly confused, always agitated and it broke me to see her take such a sharp turn. On top of the developing dementia, the medications for her arthritis stopped being effective and she began limping around again. Neko hated the vet clinic so I consulted with them without taking her in to try to save her some trauma. They gave me some medication to sedate my poor girl so I could bring her in to have her put down as calmly as possible.

We had one pill to give her in the evening and another first thing in the morning. She took the one at night and she had one last loving and peaceful night with Erika and I. She clearly was not in pain an hour after taking the first pill. We were able to pick her up, hold her and, as always, she climbed up onto our shoulders. Her eyes were glazed from the drug and her balance was poor but we kept her safe and gave her as much attention as we could.

In the morning, we gave her the second dose and took her to the vet. As I feared, she still became quite upset that she was at the vet clinic. She growled, struggled, and hissed proving her strong will and personality until the very end. The vet came in and gave her an injected sedative and then left the room to give us some time with her until she fell asleep.

Neko walked over to a windowsill next to the examination table and I stood beside her holding her with one hand and petting her gently with the other. She slowly started tipping over so I picked her up and held her so she could look out the window until her eyes were closed. I took Neko to the couch and sat down with Erika and we petted her and told her we loved her until the vet came back for her final injection. The vet gave Neko the injection, and checked her heartbeat until she was gone. Erika and I spent a couple minutes holding her, crying and saying goodbye.

My childhood friend of 16 years was gone. I was a 30 year old man, but her passing broke me more than I expected. I thought I had prepared myself for what we needed to do rather than have her suffer, but I discovered that I could never prepare myself enough, to lose the pet that was part of my family. I had let my pet choose me, and I will never regret that decision. It broke my heart to part with her, but the relationship has given me happy, lifelong memories.