Raccoon Craves Cheeseburger

The only event Gregory truly looked forward to was his weekly journey to the 24/7 Sunset Diner. Like every other Saturday night, the little raccoon crawled out from his den under a fallen tree to trek across the woods. Once he spotted the soft red and orange light through the trees, he knew Sunset Diner was just ahead.

Gregory was an avid reader. Whether it was trashed textbooks and notes from the town’s school children in June or the discarded papers from neighborhood houses, he consumed it all. Thanks to his scholarly pursuits, he identified Sunset Diner as a large repurposed trailer from the sixties. It was small, with no more than five cars parked out front at a time. He took a moment to admire the buzzing lights. How pretty, he thought, before making his move.

Creeping through the gravel-strewn parking lot, Gregory scuttled around back to his usual spot. There was a row of four garbage cans propped along the backside of the trailer. Gregory climbed the nearest one with practiced ease, taking a moment to rest before he propped himself up on his back legs.

It was the perfect setup. Sunset was in a suburb of Boston, close enough to the city to get good business, but far enough away for the diner to be relatively isolated. He could perch up here for as long as he wanted, and no human would come around to chase him off with a broom.

Gregory laid his ears flat and clutched the windowsill with tiny black paws. With little more than the top above the window, it was unlikely someone would spot him. He’d been coming here for a few months, and hadn’t been caught yet. Besides, Brian the cook was currently occupied with what Gregory could clearly see were the makings of a Sunset Deluxe Cheeseburger, the best thing on the menu. Despite the burger’s immense size, there were rarely leftovers for him to scrounge up when Brian took out the garbage. Gregory twitched his nose, the smell of grease practically oozing out of the diner. He stared at a basket of fresh onion rings dripping with grease, clear trays filled with bright tomatoes and lettuce, and a delicious Belgian waffle with hash browns plated and ready to go on the counter. If there was a heaven, Gregory knew this was it.

The window looked in from behind the kitchen counter and out at the row of four tables at the front of the diner. Though food was always first on his mind, he couldn’t help but admire the decor. He particularly loved the bright blue jukebox next to the front door. Again, Gregory's reading came in handy. He knew the song playing now was “Stand by Me”; the song had become one of his favorites. The mint green walls were cluttered in old photos and news clippings, and the checkered floor made Gregory think of the old chessboard he’d scavenged for his home. The tables were a polished sparkly red, and the booths looked like delightful places to burrow into. If Gregory didn’t have so much respect for the place, he would’ve loved to sneak in and rip off parts of the seats for himself. They would be incredibly comfy in winter.

While admiring the booths, the family of three sitting at the corner table started laughing. Gregory’s ears shot up. He made a little chirp at the sight of crinkle fries being shared among the three, parents and their son, in a plastic basket. Where’s your honey mustard? That’s the best one, he couldn’t help but think as they dunked the fries in ketchup.

He quickly flattened his ears again. He turned away, falling onto the garbage lid with a small thump. His whole body sagged as he practically collapsed on his belly, chin resting on his front paws.

It wasn’t fair. He had to sit out here and watch people have unlimited access to the most delicious food ever. They had fresh grease popping in their mouths, juices running down their chins, and they didn’t appreciate any of it. On any other night, Gregory would be more than content to open the garbage beneath his body and dig for stale food. No, instead of the crisp crinkle fries, he was stuck with whatever soggy leftovers someone would throw out after a backyard barbecue. Gregory licked his lips, trying desperately to stop the saliva that gathered in his mouth. He imagined what it would be like to eat that Sunset Deluxe…

He closed his eyes with a huff. These thoughts never used to intrude when he came to Sunset. This was supposed to be his escape from his boring, everyday life. Stupid, selfish people. I have to wait here for your leftovers. I wish I could be you for a day…

The backdoor swung open, and Brian stepped outside. By the time Gregory raised his head, Brian was staring right at him. He froze, and resisted the urge to run. It seemed tonight, Gregory was too caught up in his thoughts to leave fast enough. Physically, Brian was an unremarkable human. Brown hair, brown eyes, middle aged, average weight. If he took so much as one step, Gregory would dive off the garbage can and be gone in a heartbeat.

Still, Gregory couldn’t help but pause. He would give this human the first move. Wasn’t this the cook he watched every week? The same guy that assembled the largest burgers Gregory had ever seen, and kept the napkin dispensers full at all times? You have my respect, sir, Gregory thought, wishing he could voice his opinion aloud.

“Well, hello,” Brian said with an amused chuckle. Gregory remained motionless, detecting the way Brian’s body released its tension. His voice was also friendly, and Gregory allowed a small flick of his tail.

“Mind if I leave this here for now?” He held up a bulging garbage bag. “Don’t want to get in your way.” There was the slightest hint of fear in the human’s voice, and Gregory was surprised to find himself upset by this fact. “You’re actually a cute little guy,” Brian added with another of those lighthearted chuckles. With a warm smile, he disappeared inside. Gregory looked at the door, then down at the garbage bag.

Interesting, he thought, I’ve never been called “cute” before.

Throwing caution to the wind, Gregory scuttled onto the ground and paused. He wanted to eat the garbage. At the same time, it would leave a mess for Brian to clean up. He took a few baby steps forward, stretching his neck to smell what was inside. Maybe if there was something good on top, he could fish it out without totally destroying the bag. Gregory detected the usual scent of grease, as well as some condiments and spices. He stood there, sniffing the air, when the heavy metal door creaked open once more.

Gregory looked up in terror. Please don’t have a broom.

“Still there. Good,” the cook said. He wasn’t making any immediate moves to shoo Gregory away. Nervous, Gregory slowly brought his paws together and clasped them in front his stomach, black eyes wide.

Brian laughed, “Aren’t you polite.” Gregory tensed. What was so funny? Brian stepped fully out of the door, and Gregory could see what was in his other hand. It was a spatula, and on the spatula, a cheeseburger. A Sunset Deluxe Cheeseburger.

This can’t be real.

“You’re looking too skinny. I threw a bunch of different things on this one,” Brian said. He flicked the burger towards the raccoon. It landed upside down. “Keep this between us, alright?” After a dramatic salute with the spatula, Brian was gone.

Gregory blinked. The burger was close enough that he could feel the heat rising off it. He shuffled closer and nibbled on a bit of the patty poking out from the side. Oh…OH MY GOD. He took a massive bite, immediately tasting all the salty, savory goodness he expected. When gooey cheese melted onto his muzzle, he licked it away eagerly. The cheeseburger was unlike anything he’d had before. And it was all his.

Thank you thank you thank you, repeated in Gregory’s head as he took the next bite. When he looked back down at the burger, he saw a muted yellow sandwiched between the meat and tomato. Honey mustard. Gregory lunged at the spot, inhaling as much honey mustard as he could. The tang of it was like electricity through his whole body. He was wrong before; this was heaven. With a mouth full of cheeseburger, he felt a little silly for his despair moments ago. Now that he thought about it, he did discover the most amazing flavor of Sun Chips last week.

Cheer up, he thought to himself, Good stuff will come to you.

Content, Gregory sat and picked away at his Sunset Deluxe Cheeseburger, already looking forward to starting the next week.