Lulu, I think?

This dog who sits in the freezing cold, in the rain, in the yard is not much far off from me. She loves her pet parent’s unconditionally, but they do not want anything to do with her. Does she blame herself like I do? Does she have the ability to see things that way? I hope not for her sake. She is a dog and sometimes dogs bark. Sometimes dogs bite. But it is not malicious till it is. They are not barking and biting for pleasure. It is simply of defense. We are not any different when it comes to that, we are much worse. She can’t tell them why she is hurt, but maybe she is better for that. Nothing gets to your core like telling someone what they are doing is hurting you, and then they continue to do just that. It must be me right? I did not wag my tail the right way, I did not eat my food at the pace they determined is what I should have? Or, maybe the worst of them all, I loved them too much. Well how do I balance? I am just a fucking dog. I’m an animal, as are you. And, and, you should have fucking known better. You are going to turn your back on me while I am actively giving everything I have? Everything your “training” provided me? Then it is my fault for misbehaving? I do not understand the games you subject me to anymore, as if I ever did. But, I know what love feels like, I know I have it, I know it has no conditions, and now I know, it is empty. It is a war I never stood a chance in. I fought anyway. That is what you do for love, you fight losing battles knowing the war will be lost. You do it not because you’re brave, not because anyone made you, but because you gave your heart and expected one in return. How can I know when you beat me that you are doing what is right when it is so natural , like breathing, that you are abusing me? Because you put out some dry food that is only prolonging this madness? If you do not want my love then let me starve. I I am okay with starving, even welcoming to it, if I’m not enough. I live, and I do everything, yes even what you call being “bad”, I do for you. For your love, for your acceptance. For maybe the chance to sleep inside instead of in the 34 degrees rain tied to a tree. If I can’t have it, why are you keeping me here, trapped in this cage, in seclusion, in the cold, alone, and heartbroken, because, I do not know what you want from me for you to love me. I have given you everything, and I I am nothing? I have no worth to you? You eat your steak or your fast food, and there is no thought of me suffering in the cold? Hungry for food, for affection, for fucking acceptance? Well you have pushed me too far. The next time my teeth show know that I would bite you if I didn’t love you so god damn much. I am no longer begging for you to love me. If I have to beg, did you ever in the first place? I have found more affection from the stranger that feels my anguish, and is respectful by not playing with his dog while I am outside. And…I am always outside. I still have love to give, I just wish anyone had love to give me.