KILLER GUINEA PIGS!!!

When you research guinea pigs, you learn a lot about their care, their diet, what kind of bedding you should buy, and all about their little sounds. Oh, those cute little sounds. <wheek! wheek!>

What you don't hear about, is their killer instinct for DOMINANCE!

No one really talks about how these battles for dominance could leave one of your cute little cavies...

DEAD!

SCARRED FOR LIFE!

HUMILIATED!

SCARED INTO HIDING!

Well, let me tell you about it. I own three male guinea pigs. They're named Draco, Harry, and Spots. First off, having three MALE guinea pigs is a terrible idea. If you're thinking about it, just STOP RIGHT THERE. Trust me. You'll see why.

So, as for where they came from, I got Spots, at a pet store with another cavy named Peanuts. I don't really know if one was male and the other female, it's hard to tell when they're so little, and they were practically babies, but, either way, they never really fought. They just lived amongst each other, eating hay, having a gay ol' time. Until, one day Peanuts just stopped eating and died. I don't know why he stopped eating. I even tried to force feed him. But, apparently, if they don't eat in 12-24 hours they will die. That's just how their digestive systems work and why it's so important for them to have access to hay AT ALL TIMES.

Anyhay (yes, that's on purpose), after Peanuts died, that same day (because I heard guinea pigs are really sad when they're all alone - they are herd animals after all), I went to the humane society and got Draco and Harry. These two were "perfect pairs," meaning if you got one, you had to get the other. The staff told me they bickered a little, but that they were generally all right with each other. Though, I'm not really sure they should've been "perfect pairs." I'm sure it's because they were brought in together, but I'm wondering if their seemingly endless need for domination is what got them brought in in the first place.

I brought Draco and Harry home and everything was.... well... uneventful, I suppose...

Until...

THE BATTLES FOR DOMINANCE BEGAN!!!

This is how these battles have been playing out with my cavies. First, Harry will decide he wants to establish, or reassert, his dominance. So, he will raise his head up and chatter his teeth at another guinea pig. If it's Spots, he'll usually do the same, and then they'll both start wiggling their butts and moving around. Kind of a Yin & Yang chattering, butt-wiggle dance. Eventually, though, Spots will run away from the confrontation and hide. Therefore, he has given Harry dominance and the battle has been won and all is safe in cavy-ville. However, if Harry chooses Draco, then Draco will continue the butt-wiggle chatter dance until one of them has had enough and will start to chase the other. At first, Harry would chase Draco until he got caught in a corner and would mount him and, well... do a different kind of dance, if you know what I mean. It looks like he is mating with Draco, but he's not. He's establishing dominance this way. Once he stops, or Draco gets away, the chase and mount will happen all over again until dominance is established. Recently, though, this has escalated. Draco seems to be over the mounting and now will chase Harry and bite him in the butt, not letting go. The cavies can circle around each other and wrestle and bite. Wrestling is okay, but once a lot of biting starts to happen, then it gets dangerous and the cavies can become wounded. I think it's because of these fights Harry has a hole in his ear that looks like a piercing. Blood has also been shed, which I've found in the cage and on the cavies. Once, I grabbed Draco while he was chasing Harry with his teeth in his rear end, and he wouldn't let go! His teeth were in deep and Harry got quite a wound in his butt.

Recently, I heard the cavies fighting in the evening. Usually, it's fine. They'll go about it a little, and eventually settle down, and the house can fall to sleep once more. Unfortunately, that's not how this night went. They were being SOOO LOUD I could hear the banging of their cage across the house and into my bedroom. I could hear their metal dishes and water bottle being knocked about. I could hear the topple of their wooden structures like Godzilla in Tokyo.

This happened twice during the night. The first time, I just waited for it to stop. But when it started again and I could hear no end in sight, I had had enough, and the assailant must be captured!! What I saw when I got into the living room was Draco chasing the hell out of Harry. He was really after him, like he had death on his mind. I'm not kidding, it was nuts. I had never seen two guinea pigs run so fast in my life. Still, not kidding. Spots, meanwhile, was hiding in the hay box. It's a perfect hiding spot because only one cavy fits. I also often find that one cavy fitting to be Spots. He's been harassed enough, and he's small and young, too, that he's learned to just hide. That's how you know you have bullies for cavies. I think Spots is generally okay, though. He'll get into domination battles here and there, but they're mostly squabbles and then he learns that he's still the smallest and youngest and still edible. (Guinea pigs are generally herbivores, but I believe mine to be cannibalistic.)

Anyhay, so Draco was giving chase, and, because of that, I decided to stick my human hand inside the beasts' cage and bring out Draco. Oh my god, DON'T EVER TRY TO CAPTURE A RAVAGE CAVY WITH YOUR BARE HAND(s). That beast latched on for his dear life with his rodent teeth. Guinea pigs have really strong front teeth, similar to beavers, but not so orange. I mean, guinea pigs, also, chew through wood for funnsies. Think about the cavy being attacked. That has to hurt! And I can verify that it truly does. I got a pretty good bite, and a lot of blood from that, too. A pretty bad scratch, as well, that has become a scar. It wouldn't stop bleeding for a good while, and because the sight of blood makes me light-headed (even though I wasn't scared, nervous, or panicked, at all), I had to put my head to the ground. It's hard to take care of yourself and a cavy with your head to the ground.

Anyhay, eventually, I put Draco in the bathtub with one of the bedding mats and some food and water. I don't think he had much to drink or eat over the night. He seemed pretty depressed. For as much as guinea pigs fight, they are still herd animals and still need to be around each other to be happy.

Now, because of this, I have them separated and let them out for an our each day to commune. They have quite a big space that is sectioned off for the three of them, so they're never far apart from each other, but they can't bite each other in the butt, either, at least not while I'm not looking! This time usually also includes feeding and cleaning of the cages, so it's not so bad. They have enough to distract them from each other.

So, if you're looking to adopt guinea pigs, please do more research than you think you may need. You might end up with the wrestling team "BLOOD BATTLE DOMINATION!" Or something like that... And make sure you have LOTS of space.