I Was Chosen

I will forever have the memory of the day I met my Carter, etched into my mind.

The day my life changed, unapologetically and un-regrettably.

Through the years, since I’ve had him, I’ve been through an enormous amount of challenges and adventures.

Finishing my first year of college, then finding out I failed and couldn’t go back. Moving in with a boyfriend and the relationship not working out, so we had to humbly move back home. Starting university with a new plan and vision for myself, then dropping out. Meeting the man of my dreams, moving in with him and eventually getting married.

Through it all, Carter has been my constant.

My world was upside down before I met him. The day he came into my life was the day he began to rebuild and fix me, showing me I was worthy.

So it is only fitting that my favourite memory of my boy is that very day and this is that story.

***

It was March of 2014, spring was starting to emerge in the small town of Vermillion, AB. The school year at Lake Land Agriculture College was beginning to wind down.

I was starting my practical rotation at the onsite veterinary clinic. Looking to finish my first year as a vet technician.

I was one of the young ladies assigned to the incoming feline patients.

These cats were brought in from an SPCA in Lloydminster, Alberta. Their purpose was to be used by the veterinary students as practice.

Things like taking temperatures, general examinations, practice with administering medications and the like.

I was well aware of this and assured myself that getting attached to these animals was out of the question. My job was to do all their feedings and cleaning of their litter pans. Nothing more and nothing less.

That Sunday afternoon, as we were about to begin our shift, a new batch of cats came in. All shapes, ages and sizes you can imagine in a small batch of 6 to 8 felines.

Their crates were lined up on a table and we were told to choose our subjects that we would cater to for the week.

Most students would walk up and grab any cage, not bothering to look inside.

But I, being the foolish young thing that I was, crouched down and looked inside each one. Curious about each set of eyes that peered back at me. Unprepared for the shiniest and most hope filled set of crystal blue eyes that would look back at me.

To this day, this is the image that will forever be burned into my brain.

It is the only image I see when I close my eyes at night and think of my boy.

A small, not yet full grown orange cat with impeccable colouring gazed back at me. Opening his mouth wide in a pleading cry.

Our eyes locked on each other, he tentatively approached the front of the cage. Trilling at me, with these big hopeful eyes.

I reached out and put a finger in the crate, he nuzzled my hand with his cheek and purred immediately.

My heart skipped a beat as I instinctually found the words. “I’ll take this one.”

“Name?” My instructor asked, looking over her clipboard.

The top of his crate had a masking tape label that read Carter.

I repeated it back to her and immediately she checked him off, writing my name beside his.

This was the moment that our journey began, together.

Over the week, I would do my best not to get attached.

Remain professional. I would tell myself.

But that was easier said than done.

Carter had chosen me, whether I was willing to admit it or not.

He would call to me in what I now know to be his name for me. A very specific trill, the rolling of his tongue at the beginning of a meow. His whiskers twitching as he spoke, eyes locked on me in undying affection.

When I would walk by his cage, he would reach out and gently snag the pant leg of my scrubs. Tugging on it for me to love him, calling me with his trill. Begging to be let out and loved.

To which I undoubtably would give in, every time.

Letting him wander around the feline room while I did paperwork and other jobs. Ultimately turning into him following me around the clinic, like a dog. While I sorted paperwork and completed other tasks.

Eventually my rotation ended and I handed him off to the next student.

However, I was unable to let go of the connection. So I would often come visit him after school. My friend and I bringing our homework so we could hang out with our favourite cats in the locker room.

I knew eventually I would have to say good bye, as they would rotate out the cats and send them back to the SPCA.

But I was unwilling to do so and on the last day of his time at the clinic, I filled out the paperwork and adopted him.

Finally giving in to the fact that I was chosen and I indeed chose him back.

***

I can honestly say that I have never regretted that choice, nor will I ever.

He has been with me in both the good times and the bad. He was there when I failed out of veterinary school. He was there when life didn’t work out and I had to move back in with my parents. He was there when the world felt so dark, all I wanted to do was crawl under a blanket and cry.

To which he responded by pawing at me until I let him in. Then cuddling me under the blanket, until I was ready to face the world again.

I moved in with a man that would eventually become my husband. Carter grew to love him almost as much as I had, maybe even more than I had.

He has been the one constant in my life, since the day I got him and I will cherish that until my dying breath.

I am all too grateful that Carter is still around and is very much in good health. I know one day he will be called to move on and I will have to face that. But even in knowing that, I do not regret the day that I chose him back.

His presence will fade and so will some of the memories but the memory of the day he chose me, will never fade. It will always be my most cherished memory, above all else.

And to him I will always be thankful that I was chosen to be his mama.