I DON'T want a Dog!

When I first married my wife at the young age of twenty-one, I naively thought that I was somehow lightyears ahead of my peers in the department of responsibility. To me I was ready ready to take on marriage and understood the commitment to selfless sacrifice made for the benefit of your significant other. Back then, I would have said, that my emotional maturity was above average for my age. Though that might have been true at the time, what I failed to realize was just how selfish I really was.

After getting married, my wife and I would move down to Florida, where we would begin our careers. I would make the sacrifice to take the job I didn't want, in order for her to land her dream job. I worked long hours so that we could afford the home of her dreams. I would cook dinners so that she could relax after a working an easy job at the office. The thoughts racing around in my head were, that I was one great husband. Just look at all the selfless sacrifices, I had made for my wife. Wasn't I a great husband?

Maybe I was a good one, but I wasn't a great one. I had thought selfless acts were tokens that could be weighed on a scale. I had thought all my actions could buy me a few requests in the marriage. One of those request I would cash in my acts of love for was to postpone the adoption of a dog. My wife was crazy about dogs. She had two family dogs, when we first married. In a way dogs were the way she learned about love, while growing up in a home that had lacked it. I knew she would want a dog, when we had gotten married. I had just told myself, that we didn't have to get one right away. Although I was ready for the commitment of marriage, I was not ready to take on the responsibility of a pup. Who could blame me? Just look at all, that I had to go through to give my wife a good life, right?

Well after five years of marriage to the most wonderful woman anyone could ever dream of having as a best friend and life partner, I began to realize what it was that I was buying with my tokens of love. In asking my wife to hold off on us getting a dog, I was essentially asking her to give away the one thing in this life that had brought her so much love and joy, a dog. If I had truly loved this woman, how could I keep something away from her, which meant the world to her? That is why, I would tell her to start looking for a puppy. I wasn't going to stand in the way of her happiness anymore.

To say this was a selfless move on my part would be a falsehood. I had once again naively thought, that I was doing the loving thing by making the selfless sacrifice for my wife's benefit. To me dogs, although cute and cuddly, were a huge responsibility. They were prone to destruction. Getting a dog would mean, that I would have to give up the few treasures of free-time I had left in my life. I really didn't want to give that up, but I didn't want to deny my wife of having what she was meant to. Loving dogs gave my wife a purpose. She was always great at loving people, though they rarely returned the gesture. Dogs, to her, were the only ones in this world who could love her even more than she loved them.

As we went to look at dogs, we saw this beautiful golden retriever girl. As we asked to see the dog and play with it in the designated area at the shelter, I would learn just how soft my wife's heart was. In under thirty seconds of meeting this cute and fluffy puppy, my wife would utter the words, "I Love You!". And no, she wasn't talking to me. I knew I was doomed in that moment. I would not be able to leave that shelter without leaving with both my wife and that dog. That was the day we got our dog. We named her Buttermilk, because of her golden white creamy coat.

It wasn't, but three hours after bringing our new little girl home, that I would begin to understand the enormity of the commitment to which I just signed up for. I had built our home, that we lived in. It was my crowning jewel of accomplishments in my young life. Three hours is all it took for that sweet innocent little dog to completely destroy that home. The first few months were hell to deal with. The puppy, that was Buttermilk, was a bull dozer of destruction. I was so stressed. To make matters worse, I would end up leaving my job as a construction manager to take on a full-time writing position, while working from home. That meant 24-7 puppy time. To most, that would be the best thing in the world. To me, it sounded like a living nightmare.

My days were filled with chewed up cords, dirt on the floor, and at time the undesirable surprise of dog poop in the most inconvenient of locations within the home. I had known, that I was right in holding off on getting a dog. I had to be, after all I was one to assume others as the presumptuous type. A dog is that after all. They are the epitome of not understanding the acceptable boundaries. I went from working with a bunch of sweaty guys in the blazing heat of the day to working with a cuddly dog, and I was beginning to covet my time with old co-workers.

What I failed to see in the beginning, that my wife now loves to tell me 'I told you so', is that this little furry bundle of golden yellow cuteness would melt my heart. It only needed one ingredient, time. As time went on, Buttermilk and I would spend day after day in our home office together as I would write. She would remind me of much needed breaks in order to play with her, walk her, or just to love on her. She always comes to me for the ear scratches. I was beginning to fall in love with this dog, that I didn't even want. My heart began to soften. As it did, I began to realize, that while love is a selfless action; what makes it true love is the motivator behind it.

Raising Buttermilk has required complete selfless dedication. Yet, the inconvenience is now something I joyously take on. I love getting to love her, as I love getting to love my wife. Where I had been so hell bent on never getting a dog, I found myself being so thankful that my new coworker was my furry best friend, Buttermilk.