Hank the Hound Detective

On the top floor of an apartment building lived an old, wrinkly, brown, Basset Hound named Hank. He was the pet of the famous detective Billy Bass. To the humans, the name “Billy Bass” meant something, but in the pet world, it meant nothing. If you asked the parrot in the apartment next door, or the fish in the apartment below, they wouldn’t know who you were talking about. But if you mentioned the name Hank to them, well now, that’s a different story. The parrot would repeat the name and the fish would splash in his tank. “Hank” brought either admiration or fear, depending on to whom you were talking. Hank wasn’t just any dog, he was the famous pet detective.

On this particular Tuesday morning, like every other morning, Hank got up the moment his owner said goodbye and locked the front door behind him. The sky was still as black as the coffee left in the pot. Hank stretched his sleepy body and jumped onto the kitchen counter. He nuzzled his nose into the pot and began licking up the coffee.

Suddenly, there was a tap on the door. Pat. Pat. Pat. Hank opened the door and to his surprise he saw Ms. Kitty, the oldest and by far, most glamorous pet living in the building.

“Detective Hank. Pllllllllease helllllllllllp me,” she meowed and purred at the same time. “Someone has stolllllllen my catnip.”

And just like that, Hank’s daily work hunting for clues had begun. He followed Ms. Kitty into her pink apartment across the hall (decorated with zebra print accessories).

“Where did you last see the catnip?” Detective Hank asked.

“In the pantrrrrrry next to the big box of cookies,” Ms. Kitty purred.

Slowly, Hank began to sniff the floor around where the box of catnip should be. Ms. Kitty purred sneakily behind him. Something felt strange, but Hank couldn’t quite put his paw on what it was.

“I’llll go get you some of your coffee to help you,” she meowed.

A few minutes later Ms. Kitty returned with coffee for Detective Hank and warm milk for herself. “I hope you don’t mind, I took some of your milk for myself,” she meowed.

All of a sudden there was a loud bark. Detective Hank stopped sniffing and looked up. Ms. Kitty’s purring quickened. The barking continued and moved closer and closer. Ruff! Ruff! Ruff! Bursting through the door came a fluffy, puppy Golden Retriever, named Charlie.

“Somebody took my steak while I was chasing my tail!” Charlie cried.

In the dog world, this is a BIG crime. It’s as if someone hid your teddy bear or ate your ice cream. Horrible!

“It was my first ever steak and my owner left it for me. I was a good boy and so my owner gave me steak as a treat,” Charlie whimpered.

The ruckus caused all of the other pets in the building to leave their apartments and come to Ms. Kitty’s pink home. It was quite a sight. There were lots of dogs and cats running in, (some carrying fish tanks), birds fluttering above, and bunnies hopping. Lastly, entered Stevie, the Pit Bull.

“What’s happening?” Stevie asked.

“Somebody ate my steak and it just isn’t fair!” Charlie whined.

Detective Hank looked at all the pets gathered, watching in anticipation.

“Who did it?!” The parrot asked, and then kept repeating himself until someone interrupted him.

“It had to have been a dog,” Ms. Kitty said, “since they’re the only ones that eat steak.” All five dogs became nervous. They were now suspects of a serious crime.

“Wasn’t me!” Stevie said right away. “I was playing on the elevator and Bobbie the Bunny saw me!”

Bobby the Bunny hopped and nodded in agreement. “We were on the elevator together pressing all the buttons and stopping on all the floors,” Bobby giggled.

Now Detective Hank was a dog of few barks and hadn’t said a word since the commotion began. But, he did notice the milk on Stevie’s paws. And he did spot, to his left, some crumbs a few feet away. Those crumbs smelled familiar! He moved closer to them and began sniffing. The scent became stronger as he walked toward the bedroom. Detective Hank opened the door with his wise nose. And there, in the middle of the room was the catnip! Ms. Kitty began to purr nervously.

Finally, Detective Hank spoke. “No, it wasn’t a dog that took the steak. It was a cat! Ms. Kitty!” There were a lot of astonished tweets, yelps, barks, meows, and gasps.

“What?! It wasn’t me! I was with you. Plus, why would I want a steak? I can’t even eat those,” Ms. Kitty meowed.

“No, but Stevie does and he gave you milk in exchange for stealing the steak! And you used your cat nip to distract me!” Detective Hank barked.

“No, I told you, I got the milk from your fridge,” Ms. Kitty meowed shakily.

“My owner is on a new diet, dairy-free. We don’t have milk, but Stevie has milk on his paws.” Detective Hank replied.

Again, the apartment was filled with shocked barks, meows, yelps, tweets and any other noise you can think of. Then they respectfully moved out of the way as Detective Hank leisurely walked to Stevie’s apartment. He bent over and his nose went to work. He sniffed until he made his way into the bedroom. Low and behold, underneath the bed, was the steak!

Charlie barked happily as he ran to his steak and began licking it! A chorus of animal cheers crescendoed. Detective Hank, once again, had solved the mystery!

“What’s going to happen to Ms. Kitty and Stevie?” Bobby the Bunny asked.

“They will be locked in their apartments until their owners come home,” Detective Hank barked. Ms. Kitty cried and Stevie whimpered. They didn’t want to be in timeout all day and miss all the fun, but justice had to be served and they had to learn their lesson.

When the sky returned to black and the stars came out, Detective Hank’s owner, Detective Billy, returned. Right away he bent over Detective Hank and patted his back. “You’re a good boy, Hank. I need to tell you about my day. We got a bad guy off the streets,” Billy said proudly.

“So did we,” Hank barked back.

“I wish you could understand me!” Billy laughed.

“Me too,” Hank barked again, and the two detectives walked to the kitchen together.

“Hey! Where did the rest of my coffee go?” Billy asked.

—The end—