Why Your Halloween Costume is Like Your Dating Profile

Halloween: The one day of the year we can dress as crazy, funny, or as slutty as we want and it’s actually acceptable (for the most part). But what most of us don’t realize is that every detail (or lack of detail) that we put into our costume, communicates something about our personality and dare I say, dating eligibility. 

Imagine this: You walk into a halloween party (or maybe for this year, a “Zoom” party) and look around the room, assessing the different people and costumes. You will probably see these 7 different types of costumes represented: couples costume, the hilarious costume, the slutty costume, the work of art costume, the witty costume, the scary costume, and the barely trying costume.

Now, imagine this: you make the bold move and sign up for a dating site. With your heart racing and hands sweating, you enter the jungle of online dating. You will probably come across these 7 different types of profiles: the not-single “I forgot to delete it” profile, the hilarious profile, the slutty profile, the work of art profile, the witty profile, the scary profile, and the barely trying profile.

1. THE COUPLES’ COSTUME

Right away, you know the people in the couple costumes are taken or on the path to being taken. For this metaphor, they shouldn’t even have a dating profile. They’re just cluttering up the feed and being annoying while they’re at it. 

2. The HILARIOUS COSTUME

So, you quickly escape the couple and move onto the hilarious costume. They’re dressed up as some culturally relevant person, like a movie character, politician, or someone at the party that everyone knows. They don’t care what they look like, as long as it gives people a laugh. I had a friend like this. She’s gorgeous but never worried about looking ugly for a costume and every year her costumes made me laugh. These people are the life of the party and the center of attention. They’re probably standing in the center of the room, surrounded by a captive audience. Their costume demonstrates that they don’t take themselves too seriously and will probably be up for some exciting adventure on a date. They’ll do anything for a laugh. But, like every dating profile, there are red flags too. For this person, it usually is that they don’t want to share the limelight and they make everything a joke, not knowing when to be serious. 

3. THE SLUTTY COSTUME 

Next, you might move onto the desperate costume and likewise, the desperate dater. They’re probably cold from their lack of clothes. These are usually girls but hey, it can be guys too. They are ready for a quick hookup and probably nothing more. They might be dressed as a blue collar worker that forgot half of their uniform (a nurse, cop, firefighter, teacher...). They either bought the costume directly from a costume store, or showed up in their lingerie. These people are not looking for anything serious and probably carry some emotional baggage.

4. THE WORK OF ART COSTUME

Now at the party you find the jaw -dropping, should-be-in-a-museum, costume. They’re the ones that win the costume contest every year. No one else stands a chance. They’ve worked hours and days, maybe even weeks and months on their costume. They’re creative and this is finally their time to show that. They didn’t buy anything from a costume shop, everything was handcrafted themselves. These people are artists (not always by profession, but by hobby). They are original, and on a date they can be fascinating to talk to if you are familiar with their favorite authors or current hobby. If you’re not, you run the risk of sounding naive and boring to them. Something to be cautious about: why do they have so much time to work on their costume? 

5. THE WITTY COSTUME

Next, you move to the corner of the room, where you find a group having fun, friendly banter and there you will find someone dressed in a witty costume. The costume usually takes you a second to figure out and when you do, you laugh, but it’s a half-laugh. It’s funny, yet not hilarious and doesn’t deserve a loud laugh, only a chuckle. But at least they dressed up! These are usually the people that are into puns and not that into dressing up but still want to be a part of the fun. I had a friend in college who wrapped himself in wrapping paper and a bow and was “God’s gift to women.” Douche-y but witty and the girls loved it. These people are the type who are chill. They’re not big planners, they didn’t think of their costume ahead of time, but are game to at least dress up. 

6. THE SCARY COSTUME

Moving on, you walk outside, and by the bonfire, playing with the fire, is someone dressed in a scary costume and enjoying spooking people a little too much. These are the witches, the ghosts, the characters from the exorcist, etc. Usually these are the really shy but kind people. They do make you wonder, however, why are they so into dressing up and looking scary? 

7. THE BARELY TRYING COSTUME

Lastly, you will find the person that didn’t even dress up. This person can be two extremes: highly insecure or highly confident and haughty. If it’s the first, they want NO attention at all so don’t dress up (but what they don’t realize is not dressing up causes them to get a lot more attention because they stand out). If they are the latter, they think they are too mature or above dressing up and don’t have time for childish fun. They would NOT be fun on a date. 

I find myself falling in between all the categories, depending on the year. I like to create a costume from scratch but usually throw it together at the last minute. I like it to be funny AND witty, and I’ll even admit always want to still look “cute.”

Here are a few of my costumes from previous years: