Conversations With Cats In 'Nam (and a Dog)

Introduction

This story is for the Vocal "Tall Tail" Challenge which you can read about below. After a chat with Heather Hubler who loves the cat videos of my meets with #CatsInNam (that's the Instagram and Twitter hashtag) I jokingly said I should record some of my encounters for the Vocal Challenge because, let's face it, animals do talk to us. Some have told me their names, to me to go away, and demanded food and attention.

So here are some of my conversations and if you want to see pictures and videos please visit Cats of Vocal and Dogs Of Vocal on Facebook.

The image is a creation of mine that you can download for free from Pixabay here.

Conversations With Cat In 'Nam

Tom: "My name is not Dirk, you idiot human, it's Tom. Why did you call me Dirk?"

Me: "You have white socks, so I thought of the Adam and the Ants song 'Dirk Wears White Socks", and you never ever told me your name, so how was I supposed to know? You don't wear a collar, you just demand attention and treats from me"

Tom: "Is there a problem?"

Me: "If you had told me before that Vocal story would have been called 'Tom Wears White Socks" not "Dirk Wears White Socks". You can't blame me for not knowing. If you don't tell me, I have to make assumptions don't I?"

Tom: "You l know assumption makes an ass out of u and me"

Tom does a cat snigger

Tom: "Have you got any treats?"

Me: "No but I will see if I can pick something up for the corner shop"

Tom: "Good human"

You are aware that cats only tolerate humans because they have not yet developed opposable thumbs as shown in this advert for Cravendale milk.

And the Thumbed Cats Catnapping Campaign

Argus: "Oooh A New Friend"

Me: "Hi Argus"

Argus: "Pet Me, Stroke Me, Give me a treat"

I pet Argus

Argus: "Can I have your curry"

Me: "No, dogs don't eat curry"

Argus: "I do"

Me: "Well this curry is too nice, but here have this dog chew"

I throw the chew, Argus catches it and chews it and is quiet for a few minutes.

CIAW1: "God humans are so stupid, it is freezing out there, what do you think you are doing, are you going to get me something?"

Me: "Are you insulting me? I am just going out to get some food, and your owner will have to do the same for you or you will starve".

CIAW1: "My servant is properly changed and almost intelligent, they have my requirements delivered to the door, you should really learn to do that"

Me: "I have a lot of things to do so have to go out"

CIAW1: "Some humans are unbelievably stupid and incompetent, and you definitely fall into that category, now be on your way and leave me in peace.

CIAW2: "Go away human I am sleeping"

Me: "I was just walking past"

CIAW2: "Go away human I am sleeping"

Me: "I am on my way"

CIAW2: "Go away human I am sleeping"

Jackson: "I am the Lion King, well King of all the Cats in 'Nam"

Me: "A lot of my friends have remarked on how impressive you look"

Jackson: "I do look amazing don't I, and I do command the respect of every cat and human who knows me in my kingdom. Do you have any treats?"

Me: "No, I am just going to visit the church and buy some jam"

Jackson: "You could bring me treats"

Me: "If I see any I will bring you some back"

Jackson: "You really need to do that, I will be waiting and if you don't come back I will send my subjects to track you down"

Conclusion

I found it amusing that the acronym for Cat In A Window (CIAW) looks so much like the word CLAW.

These are just a few of the cats that I meet on a daily basis, and I will share a Vocal Top Story about my Cat Encounters.