Biggest Cats in the World

Most of the biggest cats in the world are also among the world's most endangered animals. As these beautiful creatures decline in numbers it begs the question: is all the progress made by humanity superficial if it comes at the expense of wildlife and environmental health? These big cats are dying out because their habitat is being eaten up by human beings, which also means that human beings are eating up the habitat of other human beings! So, take a gander at these precious felines and then prioritize your life!

Ligers

Ligers are real! They're not just a thing made up to be a joke in the film Napoleon Dynamite! The animal is a hybrid of a male lion and a female tiger. They're the biggest cat in the world, and the biggest one ever is Hercules the Liger. He's 922 lbs and 11 feet tall. You can see Hercules at the Myrtle Beach Safari in South Carolina, USA. But you shouldn't, because the Myrtle Beach Safari has repeatedly been investigated for animal abuse allegations. Poor Hercules. Maybe he should eat the owners and break out! Sorry, sometimes I have the hopes of an asshole. Hopefully Hercules will find himself receiving care that rivals that of the patients of St. Judes Children's Hospital.

Siberian Tigers

The Siberian tiger is the second of the biggest cats in the world. They usually weigh around 700 lbs and can be as long as 11 feet. They're an endangered species because of hunting and habitat destruction. They're so majestic, their fur looks great against snow, and they have real long tongues! Euch, if humanity lets the Siberian tiger go extinct then maybe we deserve Slenderman, a position I've taken on numerous occasions.

Bengal Tigers

The Bengal tiger comes in third in the list of biggest cats in the world. It also has a really big tongue, and it's bright orange skin looks great juxtaposed against the green and golden grasses of China. It's also found in smaller numbers in Bangladesh, Nepal, Bhutan, China and Myanmar. Unfortunately, the Bengal tiger is also endangered. I AM SO CLOSE TO RELEASING SLENDERMAN UPON THIS WORLD; GOD HELP YOU IF THE BIG CATS DISAPPEAR!

African Lions

#4 on the list of biggest cats in the world is the African lion. Adult males weigh between 330 and 500 pounds. Their population is vulnerable, which means it's decreasing. There are only about 20,000 left in the world. For that we can thank Trophy hunting, a so-called legal sport, endangering African wildlife. Seriously?! People loved The Lion King but they want to kill Simba?! We're just going to let these beautiful creatures go down the drain without a fight?! But, no, cool, let's make a new iPhone every year and two another X-Mens in 2018. Totally worth it.

Jaguars

Coming in at number five on the list of biggest cats in the world is the Jaguar. They can be between 110 and 326 pounds. They're also the biggest of the big cats found in the western hemisphere. Jaguars are near threatened due to deforestation and other forms of habitat loss.

They live all over: in parts of Texas, the southern part of California, the jungles of Central and South America, and parts of Africa and Asia. They live in so many places and yet still suffer from habitat loss. Not enough people think about their impact on the environment and yet I'm the bad guy if I start talking about instituting a one child policy! It's exactly this sort of carelessness that I assume makes whatever the Maze Runner is, is about become a reality!

Cougars

The cougar is the sixth biggest cat in the list of biggest cats in the world. They're the most widespread of the big land animals in the western hemisphere. They're loners who wander at night. They rarely attack humans but attacks have ticked up as people continue to encroach on cougar territory. Some people might use that as an excuse to hunt cougars, but people kill more people than any other creature and you don't hear anyone other than me suggesting that we start considering putting growth caps on humanity, iPhones, and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Do we really need four Avengers movies? Four? Really?! I'd rather have more big cats!

Leopards

The leopard is the 7th of the biggest cats in the world. They can be between 62 and 198 pounds depending on sex. Not gender. They're cats; they don't have genders! Although their population is declining in numbers, leopards are among the most widely spread of the big cats, living in both Africa and Asia. It's nice to know that sometimes at night when I look up at the stars, leopards are looking up too. It makes me wonder, are we looking at the same stars? And, ooo, there's a feeling I get when I look to the west and my spirit is crying for Slenderman.

Snow Leopard

The snow leopard is the 8th biggest cat in the world. They can weigh between 60 and 121 lbs. They're so beautiful they make the Mona Lisa look like trash. I'M MAD; LAY OFF! Snow leopards live in the mountains of central Asia. And even though it resides in such a remote region of the world, its numbers are still declining due to habitat loss, poaching, and climate change. There's only around 4,000 left. Set fire to the Louvre and let the Hermitage burn. What good is art if there's no Snow Leopards around?!

Cheetahs

You can count Chester Cheetah among the 9th biggest cats on the list of biggest cats in the world. And also the fastest land animal. It's why Chester wears sneakers! They currently live in Africa and Asia, although it used to live throughout all of Africa and the Arabian peninsula. Cheetahs used to live in India and Pakistan too, but now the critically endangered Asiatic cheetah only lives in Iran. At this point I'd settle for the Bye Bye Man. I'm going to go read these 25 facts about cheetahs, listen to Tom Petty's "Don't Do Me Like That" on repeat, and just weep because, you know what, we're doing Cheetahs like that. And it hurts oh so much!

Eurasian Lynx

Coming in at number 10 on the list of biggest cats in the world is the Eurasian Lynx. They can be between 40 and 66 lbs. Most populations are considered stable, so it's not one of the biggest cats in the world that we have to worry about. Their populations reach from Eastern Europe to Siberia and Southern Asia. They have pointed ears and their mouths look like they're smiling, as if they're saying, "Go ahead, summon Slenderman so that humans willingly lay themselves down to be food for big cats. Do it!" Tempting offer, Eurasian Lynx! But, for now, we'll just have to settle for 10 cat Instagrams you must follow.